Sunday, December 27, 2009

We hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas. It has been a very busy week, glad it's over!! Last weekend I felt stressed out wondering if we were going to get this close and then Chris wouldn't be around to baptise Jacob but it was just another bump in the road to go around thank goodness. So at Jacobs baptism Thursday morning after he was baptised and confirmed I let out a "BIG" sigh. One momentous occasion down a lot more to go:) It was a beautiful baptism so many people contributed and sacrificed their time to make it special - Thank you!! A family in our ward made a wonderful luncheon for us it was delicious so much food. The mother had asked me if Jacob liked Mexican food I told them not really so she brought a cheese pizza just for him!! and then one of her daughters made a birthday cake for him a soccer ball - it was amazing looking. Words can not express the feelings of gratitude that we feel for so many people, people that we hadn't met (until Thurs) that took time away from their Xmas Eve to make ours extra, extra special. We will always remember this Xmas Eve fondly. Thank you again may you be extra blessed for your kindness to us:)
Christmas Eve evening was weird because Chris had to work. I still continued on with our family traditions. We watch Mr. Krueger's Xmas, Joy to the World, eat popcorn and then we read the scriptures. I missed my honey but kept reminding myself that he would be home soon. They actually let all of the employees go early 9pm. Chris was home by 9:30 just in time to help me wrestle them into bed:) Life is good:))
Christmas day had a different feel to it this year than last. Last year we thought that we only had months to be with Chris so their was a lot of crying and I video taped everything (with our new video recorder thanks to many of you:)) This year I cried because I was so happy that Chris was still here with us and hoping that this trial is over that Chris can continue to be with us and will experience different trials - less stressful ones:)) from now on.
He is still very, very tired. He is still also taking Lovenox every 12 hours 9am and 9pm so if any of you are with Chris during either of these times please remind him to "take his shot" ("Your wife said!!!")
Yesterday we went and saw Frog Princess. We enjoyed it, moved fast and was better than expected.
Hope all of you had a great Christmas and we sure do appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers, and generosity. We feel very blessed!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Yesterday Chris went back to work (WOW!!) he did OK but was very tired. When he came home he told me that he had been looking forward all day to the sing along. We had are free tickets to ride the Trax but after 2 trains went by completely full to totally stuffed we got in the car and drove to Energy Solutions. In all the years that we have been going we have never, ever, ever seen it so crowded. There weren't any seats it was FULL, FULL, FULL! We ended up leaving and going out to dinner. We tried to cheer Chris up but he was still disappointed:(
I just got home from playing "Santa's little helper" some people asked me to deliver some gifts to a family who needed some cheer (their dad died a year ago left 6 small children). I am so grateful they asked me to deliver them what a warm feeling I had carrying the beautifully wrapped presents and then to take them to someone who was so touched and grateful. The mother was crying, I was crying you could just feel the spirit. "Santa" thanks for making someones Christmas special including mine:)
Hope everyone is done shopping. I have to go out into the "mad house" and finish my Christmas shopping and buy food for the teacher breakfast I'm helping with tomorrow at the elementary.
Oh, 9am I have to try and text Chris to remind him to give himself his shot (I got a new phone - way to high tech for me, I keep calling people on accident - called Rye 4 times yesterday:)) Oopps! Take care. Love, Ricki

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Well, Chris sweet talked his way out of the hospital. I brought him home about an hour ago. His instructions are to give himself a shot every 12 hours. They said he could go home because he was able to give himself a shot without passing out (which is what I would do:) Also the name of the medicine is Lovenox, don't ask me were I got Levaquin hee, hee. He is sleeping right now. I tried to get him to stay at the hospital because he makes a horrible noise and face sometimes when he breathes. It makes me nervous. He just wanted to come home. (Why? to lots of noise and chaos:)) Now we can go caroling and to all of the other family parties we have this week.
I've been meaning to write about how I forgot to ask Chris if he worked on Christmas Eve, before setting up Jacob's baptism. Well, come to find out Chris has to work that day!! He told me he would ask someone to change shifts with him. I told him to take an "early" lunch. (9:30am:)) Thank goodness he found someone to trade with! He now works 2pm-11pm Christmas Eve:(.
Love ya, Ricki

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Where to start. .. last Saturday Chris was ill so he didn't take anyone shopping. Sunday only Megan and Ryan went to church - Katie and I were to sick and it was to much work to get everyone ready. Later that day Jacob was laying on his side on the floor and Katie came up to him and stuck a sucker stick into his ear. It bleed, I panicked. I asked our neighbor who is a nurse what to do - take him to ER? What? He said that there is nothing you can do for a ruptured ear drum that I should just watch for infection and check his hearing. I asked Chris and my dad to give Jacob a blessing to comfort me:) Monday, Jacobs eyes were blood shot so I kept him home. Later Monday night Jacob started throwing up. Tuesday, we had Chris' CT scan and the port removed and I asked my sweet mother if she would stay with two sick grandchildren. I just kept praying that she wouldn't have to clean up throw up (she didn't:). Chris and I went to Rye's choir concert at the middle school, Chris was a trooper he was ill but still went he had, had a long day. Oh, and when they took the port out he watched the whole thing!!! (incision, pulling it out aaawwwww! doctor said that Chris was the first to watch!) Wednesday, Jacob's eyes were still red. Thursday, I decided to take Jacob to the doctor because his eyes were still red and he was driving me crazy because he had plenty of energy to be at school. The doctor checked him out, we told her about "the ear" incident. She looked in Jacobs ear and found that the ear drum had been ruptured and that it was infected. The infection was coming out his eyes! He is now on three medicines- one eyes, one ear and Amoxicillin twice a day. Friday, I sent him to school he was worried about his eyes still being red so I went in and explained to his teacher. Friday night, I took 18 kids to a place called Jumpin' Jacks for Jacob's birthday party. I let Rye bring two friends, Tay two friends, and then we had cousins and Jacob's friends. Thank goodness my mom and sister were there to help me. Chris came for about twenty minutes. He was SSSOOOO sick! We sang happy b-day and had cake while Chris was there and then he went home. Meg and Rye delivered the 12 days of Christmas gift to the family that we are giving to and while door bell ditching this house Ryan slips and falls and hits his head on their stairs! "Get the boy a helmet!" When the rest of us arrived home about 9:30pm Chris was asleep on the couch (he's still trying to avoid getting sick). Chris asked me what are plans were for Saturday, I told him and then he said that "He'd just drive himself to the hospital tomorrow" I asked him what was going on and he said that he could tell that he had a blood clot in his lung. I immediately called the on-call doctor which Chris got mad about. He HATES the hospital (wonder why?) The doctor said go to the ER. Chris said in the morning. Saturday morning bright and early I called to speak to Dr. Whizenant who said that he checked the CT scan that was done on Tuesday and that it showed some shadowing which they thought could be pneumonia but now after hearing Chris symptoms believes that it is a blood clot. So we arranged everything the kids, ma, and pa to help us get everyone where they needed to go etc. When Chris and I arrived at the ER there was no one there, it was great. We had wonderful service and they had a note to be expecting us from Dr. Whizenant. When the lady asked for our co-pay I smiled and said we've met are out-of- pocket deductible "no money for you!":) It's to bad that he had the port taken out; they had to put an IV in his arm. They did an ultra-sound on Chris' leg because he told them that he had a clot there also. They started him on Levaquin (I think that's how you say it - it has been along day). He will get a shot of it every 12 hours. We do not know how long he will be in the hospital. 12 years ago he had a blood clot in his lung and he was in the hospital for about a week but the doctor says that things have changed. Could be just a couple of days. Megan and Ryan kept Chris company at the hospital this evening while I took everyone else to our family Christmas party. This is Chris' favorite party of the year he was very upset that he couldn't go. He told the nurse that he'd be gone for awhile, hee, hee. I sure missed him but was glad that Meg and Rye were able to hang out with him. My brother spoiled them and brought them dinner from the Cheese Cake Factory (spoiled!!) Rye decided that he wanted to spend the night at the hospital tonight. We asked the nurse she said it would be fine. Right now only kids over 14 are allowed in the hospital. Pretty cool to sleep at the hospital with your dad. Today I cried on many shoulders thank you for being there every one whose shoulder I "wet":) I am behind on Christmas shopping due to myself and children being sick. There would be no "Santa gifts" if it wasn't for my wonderful family helping me. I am saddened knowing that Megan and Katie probably will not get a turn to go out to dinner and shopping with Chris. Christmas is pretty darn close. Our family will probably also miss our annual sing along at Energy Solutions, we ride the Trax downtown for free, eat a hot dog and drink and sing Christmas carols its tons of fun. I just pray that Chris will be well enough to baptize Jacob on Thursday. Today I have explained to him a couple of times about dad and that he isn't going to die. That he will still baptize him. I am exhausted mentally and physically but I know that Heavenly Father will not give me any trials that I can't handle and that He will strengthen and guide me through these tough times. I love my Savior I know that He lives that He loves each of us and that He wants us to return home to live with Him someday. This life isn't easy, but I have been given the gift of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have faith in whatever the Lord's plan is for me and my family. I will not waiver, I will stand strong and do all that is required of me so that I can be with Him someday. I could never get through this without Him. We love all of you so much. Take care of yourselves and those you love, you never know how long they'll be around. Love, Ricki

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Last Chemo!!!

Wednesday was Chris' last chemo treatment he gained 4 lbs and his white blood count was great so he was able to have his chemo. The hospital has a tradition that when a patient is done with their chemo they get to ring a bell. Chris waited to ring it until Friday after they took the pump off. Today is Saturday and he is veerrryyy sick he started getting really sick last night during scripture reading. We got to listen to Megan reading and Chris throwing up in the back ground:( He is also verryy tired, the poor guy slept on the couch last night because Katie and I are sick. I am wayyy excited my dad and I took my van to the dealership to get it fixed today. I will have HEAT!! It has been very cold. The mechanic said it would take 5 hours to fix and some parts, can't remember whats wrong just excited not to be a Popsicle anymore:) You don't know how much you miss it till it's gone. "All I want for Christmas. . . is heat in my van!" (sing along with me:)) Monday we didn't see Blind Side we were given tickets to the Jazz game by some very sweet friends (love ya:)) so I knew the movie could wait that Chris would love to go to the game. We had a great time we went to Crown Burger first and then the game. The game was really close all the way to the end. We were all hoarse from screaming. It was great seeing Chris upset and yelling at the referees, that's my guy:). Tuesday we had the missionaries over for dinner. They think we're crazy. We also had the stake president and his counselor come over and visit us and are dear friends that gave us the Jazz tickets brought over some gifts from the Jazz Bear - story - I teased my friend about how those in the "bloody nose" seats don't ever get anything. We're truly lucky to have such wonderful friends, they spoiled us rotten!:) Wednesday, Jacob had his baptism interview with the Bishop and then we went to tithing settlement my family made fun of me because I took a picture but hey, I'm pretty "camera/video happy" I take pictures of everything. I have definetly given up scrap booking. This week Rye has a choir concert, and Jacob will have his b-day party along with all of the other things inbetween. Tonight we start the 1st day of Christmas to a family. Hope we don't get caught:) We have a lot of fun trying not to get caught. I will send one of the children while I sit in my nice heated car- can't wait:) Today is also the 1 year mark. We found out one year ago today that Chris would not live a year. Lucky us he is still here!! Take care. We love ya. Ricki

Monday, December 7, 2009

Last Thursday we went to Chris' work party. At his work you are only allowed to go in once a year and that is at the work party. It is fun to see where Chris sits, what's on his desk (he had a lot of awards on his desk that he has forgotten to come home and brag about - I yelled at him:) etc. I realized that Chris only has verryyy old pictures of the kids on his desk and none of Katie so my goal is to get some pictures together for his desk. I bought the cutest picture frame from Walt Disney World this summer so now I just need to fill it. Ohh, and I realized that I had never given him any of the very nice pictures we had taken last December, Oops. Friday Chris was verryyy ill. He was suppose to take Taylor x-mas shopping but he just didn't feel well. Saturday he was a little better. After our ward x-mas party he took Taylor out to eat and then shopping. He came home very tired. Sunday he wasn't feeling well so he was going to stay home from church. Katie refused to go with me she wanted to stay home and be with Chris so I let her. One less person for me:) I spoke to the Bishop about Jacob's baptism (his bday is Dec. 24th) he told us we should do it that day. He finally talked me into it. I was against it only because I don't want to inconvenience anyone but boy would it be special to be baptized on your actual bday and Christmas Eve. The Bishop was very kind he said he didn't know how the ward turnout would be and I told him it doesn't matter the two most important people will be there (Chris and Jacob). All year things have set Jacob crying wondering if "his dad" would be able to baptize him or who would and all year long our families goal has been to get Chris to stick around until after Jacobs baptized. (Now the goal is to ordain Taylor a Deacon-1 1/2 years from now:) We are very pleased that Chris is still here life is very hard on him. Friday he didn't come home from work until 8pm because he had such a rough day at work (bathroom). I am so proud of him he just keeps going a lot of people (including myself) would not be working right now it's just to hard.:( For Family Home Evening tonight we are going to pick a family for are annual 12 days of Christmas and then we are going to see Blind Side I have been told by many people that it is a wonderful movie, that the little boy reminds them of Jacob and I remind them of Sandra Bullocks character. I guess Jacob and I are going to have to see if these are compliments or not:) Yikes!!! Wednesday is Chris' last chemo. WOW!! It's been along haul, 12 treatments. And it has been almost a year since we found out that he had pancreatic cancer. I still see the whole thing in my head like it was yesterday. We sure appreciate all the prayers and words of encouragement. Stay healthy. Love, Ricki

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It's hard to believe that it is December 1st!!! Meg's ankle is doing well she started running on it again last week and she had a fun time at the Sadies dance at school she went with 8 other couples. They started the day decorating cakes, then to the mall for a treasure hunt went home got ready then went out to eat, to the dance and then went and saw New Moon (Meg's 2nd time!!:)
Yes, we still have the kitten- I know it is hard for all of you who know me to believe that it is still here but (I don't like cats!!) I prayed a lot about it (dumb thing to pray about for all of you who love cats) I don't want to "get rid" of it later on. My answer: "Pets are a part of mortality" how can you deny an answer like that I know I didn't think of it myself (I'm not that smart) so the cat is staying and I am going to change my attitude because Chris has always wanted a cat he grew up with cats- they slept on your feet to keep them warm. I grew up that cats stayed outside and were only good for catching mice. Two very different ways. And I have denied him a cat for 19 years so here goes another adventure. Everyone wants to hold "Aladdin" so we rotate him every 20 minutes. Chris and Aladdin are very cute. Aladdin sleeps right next to Chris on his pillow (can't stand the purring in my ear!) I know it's the right thing to do my Chrissie deserves to be happy and I can see that as he holds the cat. I'm sure it will be around for along time.
November 20th Chris tried camping with the boy scouts but came home late that night. He was cold, tired and there wasn't a restroom. He made the boy scouts dinner, helped them set up and then came home (yes, there were other leaders). His feet and hands are very numb right now he hates it; he says that he can't even feel me holding his hand:( He drops things and stumbles alot.
He had chemo on Monday, November 23rd. He lost 7 lbs!!! On Wednesday he had the pump taken out. He has been very sick and very tired since then.
We were suppose to have turkey dinner here Thursday with my mom, dad, sister and her family and my brother and his family but Katie decided to get sick Wednesday - fever, throw up, earache etc. so at 5:30pm Wed night I ran to the store to get all the fix ins for a turkey dinner for my family. I'm sorry to say that we left everyone in a lurch trying to find somewhere to go that had a turkey (my brother and his family ate out:) and we hardly saw Chris he was so tired and sick that he slept most of the day. Chris had to work on Friday at 6am he said he did OK . When he got home he went right to bed. Meg, my mom, and a bunch of others did the Black Friday thing I wanted to go but was afraid that one of the kids would wake up during the night and Chris would have to take care of them and obviously he really needed to rest so that he could work. Chris was ill Saturday but Sunday he managed to stay for the whole 3 hours of church which he hasn't done in awhile. Monday night Chris told me that "he's ready to check out" he can't take much more of this bathroom thing. I can't blame him I think it would be awful to be tied to the bathroom and I wouldn't want to eat either knowing that then I'd just need to use the bathroom. He does pretty good eating he just keeps loosing weight. He is getting very skinny he is now in the danger zone of weight loss.
Tuesday morning during morning prayer Tay blessed that dad would get better and not be sick anymore and would be with us forever - way to start the day!! Then. . . Katie said the dinner prayer and she blessed that "no one would pee on the floor and that dad wouldn't die" I wasn't hungry after that (and whose peeing on my floor?!!!!:) She is cute!
We are trying to plan Jacob's bday party but its hard because Chris will be sick for most of the next few weeks because of chemo on Dec 9th. My poor children are having a hard time with some things: the bday party and no xmas lights on the house. Chris usually decks our house out but this year he just doesn't have the strength. I try to tell them this over and over again but their poor little minds and hearts don't understand. I told them next year and Ryan said "maybe if he's here" I told him that if dad wasn't here we would definitely deck the house out in lights to honor dad (we'd all brave the cold and height). I have thought about doing it but I feel like I'd be taking something away from Chris and xmas is still far enough away that if he finds a little strength than he can do a few at a time. I don't want him on the roof though because of his balance he has a tendency to "sway" don't need another problem:)
"Another World of Warcraft addict is born!!" (that's what Chris is playing in the picture and the cat is trying to get:)
Love ya, Ricki