Monday, October 11, 2010

Chris had chemo Thursday. He lost 5 lbs. His blood cell count was down again but doctor said to give him chemo anyway. Taylor and Jacob came with Chris and I. Chris was feeling ill and tired so he slept the whole time. Jacob, Taylor and I played games. It was fun having them there:) After chemo we went and got yogurt, like we always do. Helps sooth Chris' stomach and gets rid of a little of the "chemo flavoring" after taste that is in his mouth. Kids had a good time dispensing there own yogurt and then putting toppings on it.
If any of you need pictures you've got to use Mish photography (call me and I will give you the number). Thank you, thank you. She did an amazing job! And what a beautiful place to have the pictures taken at.:) And Chris did so well. Later that day he ended up in the hospital.
Friday, we received a verrryyyy fun gift!!!! Chris' coworkers sent us an Edible Arrangement. We had soooo much fun eating it. Are favorite part was the pineapple and chocolate covered ghosts. It was sooo beautiful. At first we didn't want to eat it it was so beautiful - but we got over it. We ate the whole thing in one night. We had one side of it eaten before Chris got home:) I had to guard it to make sure that Chris got to see what (one side of it) looked like and got to eat some of it. What a fun gift. They also gave us gift cards to Applebees. Thank you, thank you!!!!! They will come in handy on the days that I just can't get myself to cook (we all have those, hee, hee). We just loved the gifts. You made our day, week, etc. I smile every time I think of it. Even took pictures:) (before we devoured it). I was thinking what a great job the delivery boy has. Everyone thanks him and smiles from ear to ear with excitement. I know we were:) Thanks again it meant a lot to alllll of us.
Chris now has a new work schedule. He is back to M-F 8-5pm. Which will be nice. Eating at 7:30 at night was hard. Now we can let Chris rest for a few minutes and then eat. Trying very hard to eat as a family. Hard to do with everyone running different directions at different times.
Went to the pumpkin patch for FHE. Poor Chris was reallyy sick. He came out of the car for a family picture in the patch and then went back to the car. He told Meg to pick him a pumpkin. Broke my heart. Chris tried to stop taking the pain pills but it became to painful (still sleeps on couch sitting up-so he can breath) so he is taking them again. Doctor told us that there would come a time when he would need them:(
Meg and Rye have their last cross country meet today. Dentist for everyone tomorrow, and no school for anyone Thursday and Friday (Fall break/UEA). Scouts, YM/YW, feeding the missionaries Saturday and cleaning the church. (Need all the blessings we can get:) A pretty quiet week. Next week Tay and Jacob go back on track. Darn it now I have to unload the dishwasher, hee, hee.
Thanks again to Chris' co workers/friends and Mish photography. We can't thank you enough.
Love ya, Ricki

Monday, October 4, 2010

Chris had chemo Thursday. He gained 4 pounds. His blood cell count was down but again doctor said do it anyway. He talked to us about Chris quitting work soon. He said that he felt that these were going to be Chris' last few good months. He also had us schedule a PET scan for November 8th. I told the kids what the doctor said and Rye said "good months?" and then he talked about how dad's not the same. He is always sleeping, throwing up, laying down, doesn't play with them or visit with other people anymore, ornery (because of pain), everyone is afraid to touch him because of pain, and kids have to be quieter so that dad can rest. It broke my heart. I thought I was the only one that noticed these things. Chris tries so hard but, he is sick. The cancer is eating away at his body, and chemo doesn't help by making him even more sick. He has told me a number of times that "he is ready to go" he is "sorry to leave us" but that he just can't be in this body anymore.
I know Chris isn't ready to quit working. He enjoys the work and the people. He would be reallyyyyy bored at home. I know he would really like to hang on until January 1st so that he can get the bonus/incentive that he has almost earned (have to work all year). He keeps saying that he needs to do this for "us" he is worried about leaving us with enough money. He has talked about taking half of his life insurance policy out now so that he can pay the house off. I'm not sure that he trusts that I will after he's dead:) I do keep telling him that I am buying all new flooring for our house after he's dead - since he won't let me now. Hee, hee. Oh, and a new king sized pillow top mattress:) :)
Chris went to work Friday even though he felt absolutely horrible. He came to Meg and Rye's cross country meet. He did a lot of yelling and walking:)
This weekend was nice not crazy stressful like other weekends. Watched conference, Tay's flag football game, watched more conference. I enjoyed Saturday afternoon session speaker that talked about trials building character. Can't wait to read it. Then Chris, Rye, and friends went to the priesthood session and out to eat afterwards. I cried a lot, wondering what will happen next April conference. Will I be taking Chris in a wheel chair and my two boys? or will Chris be gone?
Chris has been very exhausted this weekend and done a lot of throwing up. He is still taking his shots twice a day (thanks to all of you who keep reminding him to take his shot, he loves it:) hee, hee - I just get yelled at when he gets home) and he continues to need pain pills:(
He has chemo Thursday.
I am so grateful for general conference reminds me of what I should be doing and to be grateful for all that I have.
Love ya, Ricki