Just received a phone call from Cancer center nurse she says that "Chris' potassium level is in the toilet!" and that "he shouldn't even be able to walk!" She told me that when potassium gets to low you can have a stroke and that leg function seizes to exist. YIKES!!! She said it was to late now to do an IV so she called in potassium pills that "Chris is to take religiously" We both agreed this could be why he has been so exhausted. I am leaving now to go to the pharmacy and then I will take him a pill since he doesn't get off until 7 pm she wants him started as soon as possible and of course she scared the heck out of me. So off I go:) Next Thursday they will check his potassium again. Nurse says it takes a day for results to come back.
love, Ricki

Yesterday before chemo Chris, Katie and I went and met with Katie's preschool teacher. We will be gone when she has her open house and school will have started by the time we get back. She was kind enough to let us come over early to meet her and see the school. Katie picked her "flowers" from the grass (morning glory:) - it was very cute and of course her teacher was wonderful about receiving the "flowers."
Then we came home and Chris rested for a while until we went to the school to have lunch with Jacob and have Taylor serve us lunch (he has been a lunch worker this week). Kids love Chris and he was surrounded by kids asking him to come out and play. He didn't because he was just to tired and sick.
Chris has been veerrryyyy ill all this week. He has missed work which is not like him and he has missed family things this week (Jacob receiving awards at pack meeting, scripture reading, dinner etc.) so you know he has felt rotten. The anti nausea medicine made it so that he didn't throw up but he was soooooo tired and in so much pain that we decided it wasn't worth it to try again this week. The nurses commented on how they have never had a patient react so badly to the Emend (drug he took last week) they even got on line to look it up they were astonished on how badly it made Chris feel, other patients love it. They don't know why his hand swelled up either. It was a veryyyy bad week for Chris last week. The doctor also decided to not give him the cisplatin at all this week (he was going to give him a smaller dose but after this last week he decided against it all together) which made his chemo treatment much shorter. When he takes the cisplatin he also has to have a bag of potassium which takes along time, it can't be dripped to fast. So he had a different anti nausea medicine and 2 other drugs. We were out of there in two hours:)
We came home and he went to bed. I looked through every ones backpacks and did my "homework:)" Chris and I went to Back to School Night at the elementary school. Chris was verrryyy sick. He really didn't want to go because he felt horrible. He was making me laugh because he kept complaining about all the PTA business. He does it just to spite me. I've done the PTA business portion many years. We try to make it fast so that we don't annoy people like Chris but it has to be done.:) We went and met Taylors teacher. After that he just couldn't do any more. He went home and I went and attended Jacobs class. I did a lot of crying last night especially after Chris left me. I sat in Jacobs class and thought about what it will be like next year. This last week has just been extremely hard because of Chris being so ill. I haven't seen him this sick since he had the whipple. It is soooo hard to watch someone in pain, hear them moan and groan, throw up, sleep a lot and know that there is nothing you can do to help them. I wish I could take some of his fatigue from him - you'll notice I didn't say pain - I'm a baby, my niceness doesn't extend that far:) It just breaks my heart. Especially when he says that he has had enough that he is ready to go. He is tired of his body. I wonder if chemo is really worth it. Quantity vs. Quality. Seeing what he is going through it would be hard but I could let him go. He is miserable. I look around and see that I am very blessed. I know a woman that just got divorced her ex husband doesn't pay child support and so she is working herself to death trying to provide for her family. I will be provided for and won't have to work myself to death (outside the home-hee, hee). It's not going to be easy but we will get through it. The kids have been great. They have each stepped it up a notch this week helping around the house and with Katie especially when my patience is running low with her.
Thank goodness we have time before we leave for Disney World for Chris to feel better.
Love, Ricki

Thursday we met with the doctor. We told him how Chris throws up alot after the chemo so he is reducing the amount of cisplatin that Chris is given. Dr. also gave Chris a lecture about taking the Lovenox. Because Chris has had blood clots he is at 50 percent higher rate of getting them again. He reminded Chris of how being in the hospital in Florida would not be fun. He told him that if he didn't do it any other time that he should definitely do it just before we leave for our trip. He also added another anti nausea drug called Edeme (spelling ?). They put some in his IV and then the rest he takes orally for two days after that he takes another drug called Dexamethason for 3 more days. We don't know how much this drug will cost us. The first time they give it to you free with a coupon from manufacture. Lady next to us said that she pays $80.00 for it! Yikes!! Whatever it takes if it works. I told the doctor how he throws up so much that his back hurts so much that he can't walk. We also have children who have a very hard time listening to him throw up. One of them counts how many times he throws up. So far as of today he hasn't thrown up but been veerrrryyy tired. Also the hand that they put the IV in swelled to double the size. Not sure why that happened. He has been in a lot of pain. Been irritable with all of us because he is in pain (we all know how that goes - when we hurt we take it out on others). I've been trying to explain that to children. It's hard to watch him suffer. Can't stand chemo part of this.
Today is Rye's 15th bday!! Wow time flies. If I wanted to Rye could go and get his learners permit today to DRIVE!!! Ahhhhh!!! Sorry, I don't think I'm ready for that. Jacob and Tay love school. Tay is very excited about being on the safety patrol committee at school. He came home upset Friday because his turn comes when we are on vacation but I spoke with the teacher and he'll be ok. I told him he could stay home:) Poor Jacob missed fun Friday activity at school because I missed a paper in his back pack. Thursdays are really hard on me. We usually don't get home until 7pm, then we eat, talk, get ready for bed, read scriptures etc. It's crazy that sitting for 6 hours makes someone tired. It broke my heart to see him cry. I don't think that I will forget again. To hard to see those tears. Katie will go and see her new school this Thursday and Rye and Meg are enjoying cross country. And I am just trying to keep track of everyone's coming and goings:) Who knew five kids could keep someone so busy. Don't know how people do it that work or have more then five kids.
Hopefully, this week will go well with chemo. Interested to see how much drug will cost us.
This week we have Rye's bday, YM/YW, orthodontist appointments for Jacob and Taylor, PTA meeting, Pack Meeting (where Jacob will get his awards for scout camp), Katie goes to her new school, chemotherapy, Back to School Night, cross country, school work, and I'm sure other things that will pop up. Good to be busy - No time to think.
Love, Ricki

We arrived home at 1:30am Sunday morning from our trip. We had a great time playing at the beach (not the ocean - to cold). It's always fun to watch the kids build castles and dig down as deep as they can into the sand. Chris did great. Every morning he took extra medicine and that seemed to help. Saturday, driving home he was really sick but he got us home:)
We also hung out with relatives. We all grow up so fast!! We realized it had been about 2 1/2 years since we'd last seen each other. One of the cousins hosted the party and our aunt prepared all the food. Lots of fun.
We were blessed that the weather was so cool in CA it made waiting in line at Disneyland a lot easier. I took the note that I had the doctor write for Chris just in case it was to hard on him but like always he refused and was cranky with all the "wheel chair" people who got to go ahead of us. We had to go to Disneyland because as Meg says "Katie is spoiled." Katie's favorite ride, "It's A Small World" will be closed in DisneyWorld so of course we had to go. Pirates of the Carribean and The Tiki Room are also different in DL (we like them better in DL). And we hadddd to eat some of our favorite foods that DisneyWorld doesn't serve (hard to believe). The Monte Cristo, hand dipped Corn Dogs, and Bengal Barbecue. Yum!!! (Did I tell you I only go for the food?!) Chris took ALLL of us on Space Mountain. I kept telling him we shouldn't take Katie (or me-I hate that ride) but he said "We'd be fine, she'll love it." Ya, NOOOOO you should have heard her (and me) screaming!! After that she was ruined she wouldn't even go on Pirates. We took her and she screamed and screamed and screamed and she had to be bent in half to sit down. We bribed her with everything we could think of to get her to stop so that the other people in the boat could enjoy the ride. She ended up getting a very pretty princess night gown:)
Sunday, after church and a nap we went up to the school to see who Taylor and Jacobs teachers were and who was in there class (Jacobs teacher had sent him a postcard-very cool). Chris couldn't come to school Monday morning (being gone from work 2 weeks) so I took pictures up there and then Chris gave them each a father's blessing. Of course I cried thinking about this being the last school year that Chris would be around for. Still doesn't seem real.
Taylor and Jacob started school yesterday. Bitter sweet for me. I miss them tons. They came home all excited about their new teachers. Thank you to all teachers. We love ya!!
Chris has meeting with doctor and then chemo this Thursday. It has been 3 weeks since his last one. Will see how it goes.
Ready for a good laugh?? On the way home we found out that our car has built in radio controls in the column and we even have satellite radio. Hee hee only took five months for us to find it:)
Love, Ricki

I just want to thank all of you for your prayers on Chris' behalf. I believe that is why he was able to have such a good time at camp. I have been told that it was like he wasn't even sick. You wouldn't even know that he was dieing. He climbed up a 30 foot high obstacle course (which looked really hard), white water rafted and from all the video he took, it looked like they had tons of fun. I am sooo happy that he was able to have fun. Ohh, and from the dirt on their clothes "I know they had fun!" Of course my child was the one that found the mud puddle and rolled in it!!
I kept myself busy this week so that I wouldn't worry as much. One day I grabbed some friends and family and we went and hiked to Cecret Lake and then roasted hotdogs and marshmellows. It was a lot of fun. Beautiful flowers and cool weather.
Today Chris went to work and I headed up to Cub camp. Jacob and I had fun. We took up 13 boys!!! Boy am I tired and dirty. New van stayed home:) I took Chris' car - hee, hee. Tomorrow Chris will go up with Jacob. He's funny, on the way home he was telling me how tomorrow he "can act like a boy," "no mom's to boss them around" and that "dad will buy him whatever he wants" Yeah, I'm feeling the love:)
One of are sweet young friends asked Chris if he would baptize him. So, tomorrow Chris will have the privilege of baptizing and confirming him. Meg will lead the music and say a prayer, I will say a prayer and all the kids will sing a musical number. It was very special of him to ask our family to participate. We love ya buddy!
Sunday, we leave to play in the ocean and see "our favorite" aunt and uncle. It will be a nice week building sand castles, playing in the pool and being with family. We have to come back Saturday because school starts Monday (July 26th) for Taylor and Jacob. Gotta love year-round school!!!
Thanks again. Love ya, Ricki

For some reason this PET scan was very hard on Chris. He was planning on going to work after it but had to stay home because he was soooo sick. He slept most of the day. We aren't sure why this test made him so sick but Chris' results were that the tumors have stayed the same since his last test in April. No new ones and they haven't grown any bigger. Yeah!
Last Thursday on Chris' day off we took Katie to the dermatologist to see how her hand was doing. It looks wonderful. Dr. said to finish out medicine and continue putting cream on twice a day for another month then we should be done. And yes the cat gets to stay (bummer). He was impressed that her hand healed so quickly but I knew why (Chris and Chris' dad gave her a blessing a couple of weeks ago:) Later that day we went to the Pony Express Museum where Chris spoiled his children and nephew by buying them a civil war cap and helping them answer questions in a booklet so that they could get a special pin.
Friday, a friend and I were crazy enough to take our children to Timpanogos Cave. It is a mile and a half hike up to the cave. Katie walked all the way up. I tried to carry her but she would freak out because she thought that she would fall. The path way is only about 3-5 feet across at times. I made my crew walk right next to the mountain at all times. Tay and Jacob worked really hard on another booklet that they were given by the ranger so that they could become Junior Rangers and receive a pin. Now the boys want to go to all the State Parks so that they can collect pins. Poor Katie had a water wart on her wrist which I accidentally popped because I was holding onto her so tight. We made it down safe and had a great time.
Saturday, we worked hard getting Chris and Ryan ready to leave Monday morning 4:00 AM for scout camp in Jackson Hole, WY. Then we hung out with friends from our "old neighborhood" we do this once a year it's so much fun to see everyone. Thanks. We love you guys!! We had tons of fun and the food was wonderful. Chris did OK. We were late because he was sick and then we left early because he was feeling sick.
Sunday, Chris was late to church because he was ill. I was doing OK until a man mentioned that his son only has 6 months left on his mission and that he had gone and got his passport so that he could go and get him. I swallowed hard and then left so that I could cry. Realizing that Chris won't be going to pick up his sons after their missions.:(
This morning Chris and Ryan left for camp. Bright and early (4:00 AM). I was surprised that they didn't wake the whole house they were so noisy and Chris came back twice to the house to get things he had forgotten - one of them being his Pancreatic Enzymes!!!! Thank goodness he remembered not far from home. It was a bitter sweet good bye. All weekend I have had a hard time knowing that this is the last scout camp out that Chris will go on. Now I can worry like all the other mothers that send their sons, hoping that they are having a good time, safe, warm/cool, behaving, have everything they need. Chris has always been there to look out for Ryan. Scout camps will be very hard for me. I decided to stay home instead of going to Jackson Hole to be near him. Yes, I'm going to be OK. If he was to die up there at least it would be doing what he loves. The thing is we already know that he is going to die. Things are in place for when that happens because we have been blessed to be given time to put things in order. The big thing is that if he did die up there at least we wouldn't have to watch him suffer a long painful death like what we have been told will happen. Chris is smart and will only do things that he knows he can handle. Pray that he has a good time, and that his body lets him enjoy all the activities.
I will keep myself busy this week:) hee hee.
Last week we were given a WONDERFUL, AMAZING, COULDN'T STOP CRYING gift from some teachers at the elementary school. I know they spent tons of hours and money on the gifts. They made each of us our own book (Chris and Me, Chris and Megan, Chris and Ryan, Chris and Taylor, Chris and Jacob, Chris and Katie). I couldn't stop crying they are just amazing. They asked for photos and then they went through the hundreds of pictures I gave them and picked the pictures, put quotes and then had the publisher leave blank pages in the book so that Chris could write us each a message. Chris and I were very touched. He took them to work to show them off. And each of the kids cried as they looked at their very own book. What fun memories each picture holds and now it is in a book so that they can look at them whenever they want. Our family can't thank you enough. Words just don't come - tears do:) We love all of you so much. Thank you. Thank you.
Love, Ricki

Chris had chemo July 1st. He is remaining about the same weight (200). His white blood cell count was down but Dr. Whizenant decided to still go ahead with treatment. Chris has been veerrryy sick. By Sunday he could hardly stand because his back hurt so bad from throwing up. His leg, back and stomach hurt and his hands are tingling. He is questioning whether he wants to do this anymore. Quantity vs. Quality. He still continues to go to work. He feels horrible but is a hard worker. He has a PET scan tomorrow. No chemo this Thursday, and Monday he and Ryan leave for Teton High Adventure Boy Scout camp in Jackson, WY.
We have had tons of fun setting up our Disney World vacation, so many fun things to do and we love getting Disney letters (even if they have bills in them:). Thank you again. It gives us something to look forward too:)
I will let you know what we find out about the PET scan as soon as we know. Thank goodness for insurance-each PET scan cost over $7,000. Yikes!!
Love, Ricki