Chris is still in the hospital. Yesterday they did a CT scan (went much better). Found that he doesn't have a blood clot in his lung!!!!!! He does have one in each of his legs. He has a bad case of pneumonia. They will keep him on heparin due to the clots in his legs. Today, they are going to do a lower abdomen CT scan. He continues to be in a TON of pain. Very hard to breath and his throat is still "on fire." Yesterday, he slept most of the day. I know he is very ill when he doesn't go for walks around the floor, shower, or watch TV. Kids came up last night to see him and after thirty minutes he was starting to have alot of pain and asked me to take kids home. We said family prayer and left. Meg spent the night with him again last night. I asked Rye if he wanted a turn but he said "no," "he never wanted to go to hospital again" it has been verrrryyy hard on the kids - ALL of them. Rye and Tay are experiencing a lot of anger, and of course taking it out on the rest of us. I am feeling overwhelmed by their emotions and my own. Being pulled 6 different directions is not easy.
I have been shown many times in the last couple of days how much Heavenly Father loves each of us and is looking out for our family, by just simple acts that either others have done for us (neighbor came over and cleaned my bathroom - spotless- hasn't looked that good since we first moved in!!! and brought over her vacuum and had her son:) vacuum our house- mine is somewhat broken - sucked up to many Lego's:) a package from Chris' Brazilian friends- yum!!! Thank goodness he's in the hospital. I don't have to share, hee hee - just kidding:), visits, prayers from all of you (holding me together. prayed realllyyyyy hard today for patience and to be a good mother), biggest one - (don't laugh) but Rye is on the high school track team but is still in middle school, so he has to be picked up every day from ms and taken to hs for practice. It is a sacrifice because Tay and Jacob get out during that time and Katie doesn't like sitting in the car that long every day. So, when Chris stopped working it was his job to pick Rye up. Now, Thursday morning friend calls and says that her kid wants to be in track and can we carpool. What a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't know then that Chris wouldn't be able to drive. I just feel very blessed, one less thing to have to work out. Now, we only drive 2 days a week instead of 5 and I'm sure that she would drive all 5 if we needed her to.
Yesterday, after spending the night at the hospital Meg came home and slept and will probably do the same thing today. She said that she didn't get much sleep because of nurses and Chris making a lot of painful sounding noises. Thursday night I was very scared to leave Megan at the hospital, just afraid of Chris dieing and that being Meg's last memories. I didn't fall asleep until around 1:30am then at 3 am Katie got sick and that was the end of my sleep:) I continue to remind my children that in the premortal existence we said that we would do this. Never said it would be easy but that we would learn and become better for it. We are sooo blessed to have the gospel to know that we can return and live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ again. Chris once said to me, "We cry when someone dies, do you think that when we were in the premortal existence waiting for our turn to come to earth that when someone left (born) that we cried?" I believe that we probably did. Cried because we were excited for them and that we wanted them to continue to choose the right so that we could see each other again. I have a very strong testimony of this gospel. I know who I am, who I want to become and where I want to go. It isn't going to be easy. I have to exercise faith (which I'm not always good at - because I am a "control freak").
Just another "bump in the road" getting us ready for the "REALLY BIG bump in the road"
We love all of you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all that you are doing for our family.
Love ya, Ricki