Last night was better. The doc prescribed sleeping pills for him.  He fell at 2:30am and 5am.  At 5am  he asked me what I had done with his hamburger:(  At 11:30 pm last night Rye went in to say "good night" to Chris.  I stood in the hall so I could hear.  Rye asked him if he could get him anything and he covered him up.  Chris kept mumbling and making jerking motions as he went in and out of sleep.  Rye started to cry.  I cried watching Rye - my heart hurting for him and what he had to see.  He doesn't have to see it as much because he is at school.  He and I sat on the floor next to each other just watching and listening to Chris. It was one of those moments that I will never forget.   I am thinking of taping him this way so that when I miss him and wish he was here I can watch - then I will remember how happy he is in the spirit world.  So, then I won't be selfish anymore - missing him.  It is such a blessing that Meg got to talk to Chris Monday.  I think she would have had a very hard time seeing him the way he is now.  All the things they talked about.  speaking in Portuguese.  Yes, he fell a sleep a few times while we were talking but at least you could understand him.  I'm sooo sad for my children.  What they have to go through.  Today, Chris kept yelling Taylor's name and then he got angry with him because he didn't know "where he had put the hot water."  I just keep telling them that this isn't dad and that someday we will tease daddy about the funny things he said and did. That we can get through this.  We're a team.  We love daddy and hope that he can find peace soon. I also tell them to just go along with it - we are acting - impromptu. lol.   For years I have prayed that we could be spared from this situation.  That he would just die in his sleep.  That we wouldn't have to watch him shrivel to nothing and watch his brain go along with it.  The answer I received was:  "Others have done it, so can you."  Not the answer I wanted:(  
The nurse came over today and asked Chris about the last two nights.  He doesn't remember any of it.  The nurse helped me put all of Chris' meds in a pill box so that we can better manage what he is taking.  Last night he and I got in a "pulling war" as I tried to take my muscle relaxer pills out of his hand.  He kept telling me that they were his and I kept saying no, their mine.  I won.  I got my pills from the dentist because my jaw and ear were killing me - I guess I clench my teeth at night.  I only take one before bed.  I'm so grateful for them.  I was in a lot of pain thanks to the clenching teeth thing - now it's way better.  and yes I did hide them.  The nurse told me also that the doc told her that she believes that all of this is happening because of meds and the tumor in his brain. 
Today, Chris fell down the stairs.  We all ran down to help him.  He asked Rye to help him up and Rye basically picked him up and put him on his feet.  Yep, I cried.  We aren't sure where he was going.  Maybe to do laundry. lol. He also lost a filling in his molar. Today, he also limped around the house with one shoe on and one shoe off.  I took him off the car insurance policy today.  Yep, I cried. Just got done fighting with him about the pill box.  I'm now hiding the pill box.  He ran out of morphine but the pharmacy currier just called and said that she would be here in 15 minutes. I now not only get crabby when "mom" is yelled to often but now "Ricki" is starting to make me crabby.  I'm telling myself to "enjoy" these moments.  I will miss them - someday.  "I think I can, I think I can."
Welp, I think I'd better get to bed incase I need to get up during the night.  I'm grateful that my kids are sound sleepers.  They haven't heard anything the last two nights.