Chris lost 2 lbs. He didn't end up having chemo because his white blood cell count was .05!!!!!!!!!!! So basically, he doesn't have an immune system. So please, if you are ill or think you are getting a cold please just wave to Chris from a distance. The doctor told him to wear a mask but of course Chris won't (I wouldn't either:). We are trying to be very diligent in keeping things clean around the house and not go out.
Last week was soooo busy that I am very excited about this week. We will have Thanksgiving here at our house but everyone pitches in and brings things - especially the items that I won't cook (sweet potatoes with marshmallows, gravy, shrimp cocktail, stuffing, and cranberries - Yuck!!) don't worry Chris doesn't like any of those things either and so of course our children don't like them either:) Makes the meal much easier to prepare. Then we will go and see Tangled by Disney, can't wait. Friday, my family (the women) and I will brave the sales. 3 am here we come. Hopefully, there isn't anything I need.
Today has been strange. I have been moving summer clothing from the closet. Felt weird wondering what next year will bring. Will I have the whole closet to myself?? And Chris called and asked if there were any certain days next year that he should take off. How far do you plan?? And with Chris being "somewhat healthy" at this moment he is more himself. The outgoing, always talking, giving his opinion guy. We just go through ups and downs. Right now life feels "normal" so I will enjoy it while it lasts (Dec. 2 is chemo). I have a whole list of projects for him. Number one is Ryan's science fair project (Ahhhh).
Ohh, I have to brag Meg got a 4.0 last quarter. Scholarships here we come. She has been applying for some. Rye did well also. Meg did well on her talk in church and has been wearing her medallion. The primary/young men's presidency did a great job presenting the Priesthood Preview. Can't believe how fast time is flying!
If you live here bundle up, make sure you have food for a couple of days, and gas in your tank. I'm hoping for a snow day. "Let it snow!!" It would be fun to just stay home and play outside. The last one we had was on my birthday-January 11, 1993. I got to stay home from work - best birthday ever!! Travel safe and have a Happy Turkey Day!
Love ya, Ricki

Chris gained 4 lbs. Yeah!!:) Spoke with doctor he said that growth was bigger than May scan. It hasn't spread to anywhere else-thank goodness!! Doctor gave us options to think about. He isn't sure if the chemo is working anymore. Chris wants to keep going on this chemo regiment until January. Then in January they will do another PET scan. Doctor said that there is one more chemo that Chris could try but it has verrryyy bad side effects inside and outside the body. Chris would loose his hair and have a reallyyy bad rash-like acne all over and of course be sicker and more tired. Chris asked dr. how much longer this chemo would give him. Doctor couldn't give any definite answer. Chris also asked him, "if he stopped taking chemo how long would he have?" Doctor said about 4 months. Everyone is different. So we will continue to plug along not knowing what the future holds:) Chris is sick today (thrown up way to much) and very tired.
I went and spoke with the funeral director yesterday. Went alright. I can't believe how much money it costs!! I am going to do what they call a "double deep" plot. They will put Chris' casket down further in the ground and then when I die my casket will be placed on top of his. Saves money:) I asked Chris if he wanted to be involved but he doesn't want to which I totally understand. Since this is a new cemetery I have a lot of plots to pick from (of course each area cost different amounts). The casket we picked out is from Costco. Much cheaper than funeral homes, and it's nice it is white and gold. Funeral director gave me a booklet which will be helpful to work out all the details.
Rye went to Turkey Shoot last night he had tonnsss of fun. Chris to ill to go. Today Meg is doing Sadie's. Tomorrow she receives her Young Woman's Medallion in Sacrament and then she gets to speak:) Tuesday is Young Women in Excellence and scouts. Wednesday Tay has Priesthood Preview - hard to believe he is going to be turning twelve soon and receiving the priesthood!! On the 18th is chemo and. . . . Mickey Mouse's Birthday!!!:) Friday I feed the teachers for parent teacher conference (D track) and Saturday we feed the missionaries (lucky them - hee, hee).
And of course all the usual homework, science fair projects, indian boy project, reading etc., etc. etc. :):) Not toooo crazy a week, hee, hee.
Love ya all, Ricki

So, I need a secretary!!!!!:)
We have been very busy since last I wrote. During UEA break Chris took us to Arches National Park, Mesa Verde and Chaco National Park (in New Mexico!). It was an off chemo week for him and he has always wanted to take us to these places. We had a great time. Chris was veerryyy tired but did a wonderful job. Halloween day was crazy we cleaned the church, had primary program practice and fed the missionaries. Then we "did" Halloween. Tay dressed up as a UofU fan and Jacob drew black lines on himself (who knows what he was) and of course Katie was a princess - Bell. It rained, no down-poured. Chris was to ill to go out trick-or-treating so I went. I usually stay home and pass out candy. Meg stayed home and passed out candy. Rye went to a party. When Katie was cold and wet enough and didn't want to trick-or-treat anymore I let Jacob, Taylor and their friends go out together. It was a sad Halloween. I was glad it was raining so that no one knew I was crying. Last year was are last Halloween with Chris:(
Chris lost 3 lbs one week and 4 lbs the next. The doctor changed the doses of chemo both times because of low white blood cell counts and upped the anti nausea medicine. We also got to talk to the social worker to see how we are doing. Chris has a PET scan tomorrow (Nov. 8th) and then we meet with the doctor Thursday to find out results and have chemo.
This past week we voted, I fed the teachers for parent teacher conference and had parent teacher conferences for Jacob and Taylor, cross country banquet where Meg and Rye received awards.
Saturday, we started are annual tradition of Chris taking a child out to dinner where they want and then Christmas shopping for the family. Because it was a no chemo week Chris was feeling "a little" better. He took Katie out. She picked Chick-fil-a and then went shopping. Poor Chris came home exhausted, but hey a four year old can do that to anyone. Hee, hee. Chris will take out Jacob on Tuesday. We need to fit in as many as we can during his off weeks. He only has two between now and Christmas. He has to take out 5 kids:) One is Thanksgiving day and the other is December 16th. Not a lot of time until Christmas.
Chris is still working. He has been given a new position. I am very grateful to his boss. Chris hopes to continue working until at least January 1st (beyond if he can). Then he will have earned his bonus (which they give out in March). He keeps saying he has to make it. That we will need the money. We were in the process of filling out paperwork to get half of Chris' life insurance money out so that he could pay off the house but company Chris works for is changing from Metlife to Prudential life insurance as of Jan. 1st. So we stopped the process because we found out that Prudential will pay us $13,000 more than Metlife would have. What a blessing that we hadn't turned in paperwork yet.
Yesterday, I went and looked at cemeteries. I found the one that I believe will be good for our family. It has a duck pond, lots of baby trees (it's a new one), farm land all around it and it's in a quiet area (for now:). I will call and talk with them sometime this week about prices etc. Not a fun thing to do but, as I keep telling people I have been blessed to have time to do these things before he dies so that when he dies, instead of having to make decisions and run all around I can lay in my bed, eat chocolate and cry.
During this past week I have cried a lot having to do things that I have never done before (always made Chris do them). Change the light bulbs outside, put away the outside Halloween decorations, change the batteries in the fire alarms, and handle the bills/budget. Chris is becoming to ill to worry about finances. I have always just let him do these things because I already felt to busy and I wanted him to "feel included in the family" Hee, hee. He tells me all the time he is "sorry" but I always start to cry telling him that he is making the biggest sacrifice for our family by continually going to work each day. He doesn't/shouldn't need to worry about anything else. When he comes home from work he is sooo tired. Kids will sometimes say that they want their old dad back. I remind them gently of the love/sacrifice that Chris is making for them. He wants us to have money when he is gone.
Katie does the cutiest thing. Every morning I get up and pick up atleast 3 bowls from around the house. Why? Because Katie has taken a bowl to Chris wherever he goes so that if he needs to throw up he has a bowl. Cutiest thing!!!!
This week Tay is on safety patrol, Chris has PET scan and chemo, scouts, YM/YW, dentist, parent meeting discussing the race that Meg is going to with her cross country team in California in December (FootLocker), Jacob has a special program at school celebrating Veteran's Day (I have seen it in the past by other 3rd graders and it is beautiful - can't wait). He even has a speaking part. It is Thursday night so I hope that Chris is well enough to come. Friday, Taylor and Ryan have a scout camp out, the annual Turkey Shoot campout. Chris made it for a little while last year but I don't know if he will be able to make it to any of it this year. Will see. Hope so. Saturday, Meg has Sadies (dance-girls ask guys) and Sunday, Meg gets to speak in Sacrament Meeting. A big Yahoo goes to Meg she completed the young women's program and will receive her medallion next Tuesday at the Young Women's in Excellence program and be recognized Sunday in Sacrament. Way to go Megara!!!!!!!!!!!
We want to thank our ward. They have taken on the Thursday pizza night for our family. I was talking with a lady in our ward about it and the next thing I know there is a sign up sheet going around for people to sign up to bring us pizza (I didn't see it, they didn't pass it to me- hee, hee). WOW!! Thank you, thank you. That is one less burden on my mom (or myself). My mom usually is trying to juggle kids and pizza so this will be nice for all of us. Thanks again.
I hope to write Friday to let you know what the results of the PET scan were. But just know that no news doesn't necessarily mean bad news. It just might mean that the mother of 5 doesn't have time:)
Love ya, Ricki

Chris had chemo Thursday. He lost 5 lbs. His blood cell count was down again but doctor said to give him chemo anyway. Taylor and Jacob came with Chris and I. Chris was feeling ill and tired so he slept the whole time. Jacob, Taylor and I played games. It was fun having them there:) After chemo we went and got yogurt, like we always do. Helps sooth Chris' stomach and gets rid of a little of the "chemo flavoring" after taste that is in his mouth. Kids had a good time dispensing there own yogurt and then putting toppings on it.
If any of you need pictures you've got to use Mish photography (call me and I will give you the number). Thank you, thank you. She did an amazing job! And what a beautiful place to have the pictures taken at.:) And Chris did so well. Later that day he ended up in the hospital.
Friday, we received a verrryyyy fun gift!!!! Chris' coworkers sent us an Edible Arrangement. We had soooo much fun eating it. Are favorite part was the pineapple and chocolate covered ghosts. It was sooo beautiful. At first we didn't want to eat it it was so beautiful - but we got over it. We ate the whole thing in one night. We had one side of it eaten before Chris got home:) I had to guard it to make sure that Chris got to see what (one side of it) looked like and got to eat some of it. What a fun gift. They also gave us gift cards to Applebees. Thank you, thank you!!!!! They will come in handy on the days that I just can't get myself to cook (we all have those, hee, hee). We just loved the gifts. You made our day, week, etc. I smile every time I think of it. Even took pictures:) (before we devoured it). I was thinking what a great job the delivery boy has. Everyone thanks him and smiles from ear to ear with excitement. I know we were:) Thanks again it meant a lot to alllll of us.
Chris now has a new work schedule. He is back to M-F 8-5pm. Which will be nice. Eating at 7:30 at night was hard. Now we can let Chris rest for a few minutes and then eat. Trying very hard to eat as a family. Hard to do with everyone running different directions at different times.
Went to the pumpkin patch for FHE. Poor Chris was reallyy sick. He came out of the car for a family picture in the patch and then went back to the car. He told Meg to pick him a pumpkin. Broke my heart. Chris tried to stop taking the pain pills but it became to painful (still sleeps on couch sitting up-so he can breath) so he is taking them again. Doctor told us that there would come a time when he would need them:(
Meg and Rye have their last cross country meet today. Dentist for everyone tomorrow, and no school for anyone Thursday and Friday (Fall break/UEA). Scouts, YM/YW, feeding the missionaries Saturday and cleaning the church. (Need all the blessings we can get:) A pretty quiet week. Next week Tay and Jacob go back on track. Darn it now I have to unload the dishwasher, hee, hee.
Thanks again to Chris' co workers/friends and Mish photography. We can't thank you enough.
Love ya, Ricki

Chris had chemo Thursday. He gained 4 pounds. His blood cell count was down but again doctor said do it anyway. He talked to us about Chris quitting work soon. He said that he felt that these were going to be Chris' last few good months. He also had us schedule a PET scan for November 8th. I told the kids what the doctor said and Rye said "good months?" and then he talked about how dad's not the same. He is always sleeping, throwing up, laying down, doesn't play with them or visit with other people anymore, ornery (because of pain), everyone is afraid to touch him because of pain, and kids have to be quieter so that dad can rest. It broke my heart. I thought I was the only one that noticed these things. Chris tries so hard but, he is sick. The cancer is eating away at his body, and chemo doesn't help by making him even more sick. He has told me a number of times that "he is ready to go" he is "sorry to leave us" but that he just can't be in this body anymore.
I know Chris isn't ready to quit working. He enjoys the work and the people. He would be reallyyyyy bored at home. I know he would really like to hang on until January 1st so that he can get the bonus/incentive that he has almost earned (have to work all year). He keeps saying that he needs to do this for "us" he is worried about leaving us with enough money. He has talked about taking half of his life insurance policy out now so that he can pay the house off. I'm not sure that he trusts that I will after he's dead:) I do keep telling him that I am buying all new flooring for our house after he's dead - since he won't let me now. Hee, hee. Oh, and a new king sized pillow top mattress:) :)
Chris went to work Friday even though he felt absolutely horrible. He came to Meg and Rye's cross country meet. He did a lot of yelling and walking:)
This weekend was nice not crazy stressful like other weekends. Watched conference, Tay's flag football game, watched more conference. I enjoyed Saturday afternoon session speaker that talked about trials building character. Can't wait to read it. Then Chris, Rye, and friends went to the priesthood session and out to eat afterwards. I cried a lot, wondering what will happen next April conference. Will I be taking Chris in a wheel chair and my two boys? or will Chris be gone?
Chris has been very exhausted this weekend and done a lot of throwing up. He is still taking his shots twice a day (thanks to all of you who keep reminding him to take his shot, he loves it:) hee, hee - I just get yelled at when he gets home) and he continues to need pain pills:(
He has chemo Thursday.
I am so grateful for general conference reminds me of what I should be doing and to be grateful for all that I have.
Love ya, Ricki

For anyone who might be wondering. Did Chris stay home or go to work? He went to work!!!!! I think yesterday being home with nothing on TV and no remote was the deciding factor:)
In case anyone from work reads this he cares a ton about his job and the people. He wants everyone to succeed (including the company). He is getting a new team soon and wants to make sure they are OK. You all mean a lot to him.
Oh, and at noon he should take a lovenox shot. So if you see him remind him, he'd love the reminder. Hee, hee. Don't blame me if you get a dirty look:) And if he throws his phone across the room it's only because I reminded him "again." Hee, hee. He did promise that he would never stop taking them no matter how much they hurt.
Tay pulled five flags last night at his flag football game and Meg is doing amazing in school. Teachers couldn't say enough nice things. She has two college classes, some AP classes. The class that is giving her the most trouble is Wildlife Biology. Poor girl. They haven't even started dissecting animals yet:)
Thanks again to everyone who visited, called, text, left comments on the blog, brought food, mowed our lawn etc. I laugh because I think I have a years worth of Dr. Pepper thanks to so many of you (I can always use more:). You know that just gives me more energy and I start to talk. Ha, Ha, Hee, hee. You love me!!:)
Love ya, Ricki

Yesterday, Chris had two blood transfusions. It takes three hours for each bag. How grateful I am to those people who donated blood. Meg always donates blood when there is a blood drive. About two months ago she donated (I tried but because I went to Honduras I can't donate for a year:( anyway, I was thanking her and telling her it was her blood and her friends (who gave also) blood - obviously not, but it felt cool knowing that my daughter and her friend had helped someone else out in their time of need. What good girls:)
Chris was counting the needle pokes and he was able to count 15 just in the crook of his arm. They were testing his blood every couple of hours to check on how blood was thinning and blood platelets (to see if he would need blood transfusion). Kids came up and saw him. We read scriptures and said family prayer. I was going to try to have family home evening but kids were just a little wild. As we left Chris asked nurse for pain pill. Hee hee. My dad again spent the night with Chris. And thanks to my mom for watching them all day.
This morning Chris called to say he was ready to go. Doctor was discharging him. Chris is to take 90 mg of lovenox (shots) twice a day. Chris promised to take it. He will continue also to take pain meds till he feels better. He is exhausted and still in pain. Still coughing up blood/Flem but doc says that's OK. Brought him home, made him comfortable - except we can't find the TV remote so he keeps hollering about getting up to change channel (kids at my sister-in-laws house, or he would yell at them:) and that there is nothing on tv. Poor boy. He already said he was going to work tomorrow. I am trying to talk him into waiting til Friday. He has Thursdays off - Chemo this week, which doc said he will probably be doing.
We are so grateful to all of you and your prayers in behalf of Chris and our family. Not his time to go yet:) He's trying to make it to my 40th bday (January). Will see, hope so:)
Been a couple of crazy days. Grateful it happened when it did life wasn't nearly as busy as it is the rest of the week.:) Will call the patriarch and reschedule Rye's blessing. Tonight Tay has a flag football game, Meg and Rye YM/YW, and Meg has Parent/teacher conferences. Ahh. Tomorrow, preschool, PTSA meeting, scouts for Jacob and Taylor and Parent/teacher conferences for Ryan. Thursday chemo, Friday I have all five kids home-no school and Meg and Rye have a cross country meet. General Conference this weekend. I am looking forward to it. Not the crying part, but hey I always feel like they are talking directly to me. They know what I need to hear.
Looking forward to putting up Halloween decorations. Chris and I's favorite holiday. Blessed to still have him here for another Halloween.
We love you guys. Keep up the good work (praying:)
Love, Ricki