" Years ago we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Obama. No Cash, and No Hope." Love it!! Chris and I heard it yesterday in the hospital from the nurses and then I saw it this morning on face book. It was great to see everyone in the hospital laughing - doesn't happen to often. Chris gained 2 lbs. White cell count 3.5. His potassium was low so he is now yet on another medication. They gave him half the Benadryl and he slept. They also had to only poke him once today instead of like last week when they poked him five times (two different nurses). Chris teases about his veins knowing that they are going to get chemo so they hide:) Because it's a long day I go and get us lunch from the cafeteria which he usually downs. Today, he could hardly eat. He did well last week. Was tired and a little wobbly but nothing like the week before and not nearly as bad as he is at this moment. He threw up most of the night!! He has leg cramps, his mouth is sore (wonder if that could be from him eating sooooo many pickles?!) the skin at the tip of his fingers is splitting, face is "falling off" it's so dry and very red. Nurses gave him a lecture about using lotion on his face. I think he just doesn't want to use lotion because he wants sympathy:) He continues to crave Swedish fish, Slurpee's, Panda (yuck!), hamburgers (went to Apollo burger 3 times last week), pickles, and chips.

This week I was reminded that "I never want to be pregnant again" and reminded of the things that Chris is going through. Sometimes I forget how awful it is to always have your stomach swirling, smells and throwing up. Well, the Lord was kind enough to humble me:) I got reallllyyyy sick Monday morning 6 am while trying to get Rye to school. Got everyone school, barely. After that Chris took over. He took them to their ortho appointment, picked kids up, fed them, helped them with homework. . . . Tuesday afternoon I could at least move enough to do laundry- couldn't vacuum got queasy (moms can't be sick to long:) etc but food is still "gross" to me. I haven't run all week, just can't get my stomach to stop screaming at me. Now, my left ear all the way down to my neck hurts (especially my throat-no fever) Grrr. Grateful, that Chris wasn't chemo sick to badly and was able to take over and again grateful for the "gentle reminder."

Loved Women's Conference!! President Utchdorf's talk was AMAZING!! He started talking and I started crying. He so nailed me. Especially, about family home evening. hee, hee. Afterwards my mom, sister, Megan (Meg came up) and sister-in-law went out to eat. We had a ton of fun. They put us in a room all by ourselves. We laughed soo much. Thanks girls!!

Can't wait for Conference tomorrow and Sunday. I am once again grateful that Chris is here to take our sons and the other boys whose fathers can't take them to the Priesthood Session and out to eat. I'm sure that it will be hard on Chris tomorrow but with his adult friends a long to help him and his determination he'll do it. What an amazing man!

Today, Rye has a cross country meet (which we will be going to even if Chris is sick - can't keep him away from the race:) We continue to do pretty much the same thing each week. Orchestra practice, math lab, scouts, fhe, PTA, chemo, cross country practice, Civil Air Patrol (Tay is enjoying it - went last night. Thanks again Bro for staying with him:), teaching Rye to drive and homework. This week Tay has parent teacher conferences at the middle school and next week I feed the teachers. Have no clue what I'm feeding them (there will definitely be chocolate somewhere in the menu). I guess I'd better start planning:)

"I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all of the trials and hardships that any of us will encounter in this life," he said. "At times when we may feel to say, "Hope you know, I had a hard time," we can be assured that he is there and we are safe in His loving arms." -Elder Quentin L. Cook

Love ya, Ricki

Chris had chemotherapy yesterday. Lost 3 lbs. White blood cell count 3.6. Still good but going down:( He had a verrryyyy difficult week. He was extremely exhausted, threw up, could hardly walk at times without tripping and craved Swedish fish, Noodles and Company, mustard, rice krispy treats and Slurpee's. I have also been cooking dinner out on the deck. Either barbecuing or using the crock pot. The smells make Chris very sick. I laugh lifting the lid to the crock pot outside. Thank goodness it has a locking lid. Hee, hee. Because he was soooo weak this week I asked them to run a potassium test on him to see if it was low. I remember something similar to this happening one of the many other chemo times and it was because his potassium was low. Hoping that's it. It's an easy fix. It takes 24 hours for that test to come back so will know later today. If it is low they just prescribe medicine or he would go in and do an IV. Yesterday, was a shorter day due to doing only two drugs. He has to have a bag of Benadryl first to help the itching that the other drug causes and it usually puts him to sleep (in May that's how it was) but these last two sessions have made him very restless and agitated. I spoke with the nurse and asked what was happening she said that she would put a note in his chart to only give him half the Benadryl. Thank you to the two different families that have brought us pizza for dinner the last two Thursdays. Helps a lot. Thank you, thank you.

Even with Chris ill we still had some fun:) We had a BYU vs UofU party here. Katie and I were the only BYU fans and Chris wore yellow so that he could be "neutral." Sooo much screaming!!:) The last part of the game I went upstairs and cleaned the kitchen. Just couldn't take anymore of their razing. All in good fun.

Sunday, Chris' Mission President from Brazil came over and spoke with Chris. It was very nice of him and his wife to stop by. They were in town visiting family. Kind of crazy how we found him. . . at back to school night for the middle school Tay, Chris and I were standing in line waiting to talk to the band teacher. The people in front of us were speaking Portuguese so Chris had to speak to them and come to find out the lady that we were speaking to was Chris' mission presidents daughter-in-law. How cool is that????!!!

Meg is still struggling with getting a balance of school, work and play time. Hates chemistry. She came home one night this week to say good bye to a friend entering the MTC and to say "hi" to us:) Meg received a calling - - ward missionary. hee, hee in Provo??!!:)

Rye, had his 24 hour cross country fundraiser. They ran over 200 miles. He also had a cross country meet Wednesday. Chris was very weak and sick and he exhausted himself even more by yelling at Rye at different spots in the course. Can't keep the boy down:) Rye, is also learning to DRIVE!!! I must say, and don't tell Meg but Rye is a better driver!! He doesn't swing the wheel into the curb as we turn:) He knows his left from right and he listens, doesn't argue. Meg used to tell me all the things I was doing wrong when I was driving. Thank goodness Rye hasn't gotten to that point yet. Poor boy, he looks so small behind the wheel. He has to lift the seat all the way up and forward.

Tay, went to his first meeting last night for the Civil Air Patrol. He has told us for years that he wants to be a pilot and we've told him that it cost a lot of money to learn to fly. I happen to be talking to a friend and he told me about his son being in CAP and how on his 15th bday he got to fly a plane!! They have scholarships they give out to members for flying lessons and if Tay wanted to someday join the Air force he would be a higher rank because of being in CAP. Because it was chemo day I knew that I wouldn't be able to go with him so I asked my brother if he would take him. Come to find out my brother was in CAP when he was younger. He used to go and rescue "dumb snow mobilers." Lol. Tay has to go for a month before he can join which is good. He needs to see if he wants to work and learn. It's a lot like boot camp. Last night they practiced drills, had a lesson on Job, learned about fire extinguishers . . .next Thursday they are doing an obstacle course relay. Should be fun:) and he continues to enjoy school.:)

So.... we can now say that we have had a child in the principals office for bad behavior. Child number FOUR (can you believe it - Not Ryan:):) decided to get angry at something someone said to him and he let them have it. He feels badly for how he acted:( We had to talk with the principal (who is wonderful), he had to write a letter saying he was sorry, and miss Fun Friday. Poor boy. still loves playing his violin:)

Katie and I started putting up Halloween decorations yesterday - are favorite holiday:)

Tomorrow Rye has a school alumni 5k that he has to be at. Sunday, Chris will ordain one of Ryan's friends a priest. Tay, will have a board of review for scouts. Thanks to his determination and his leaders hard work he is getting closer and closer to his Eagle. I look forward to Women's Conference tomorrow. The "girl's night out." This time the girls will eat out and watch conference in Provo so that Meg doesn't have to come here and so that her roommates can come also. Fun. And, of course excited for General Conference next weekend.

"We can't predict all the struggles and storms in life, not even the ones just around the next corner, but as persons of faith and hope, we know beyond the shadow of any doubt that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and the best is yet to come." Elder L. Tom Perry

Love ya, Ricki

Yesterday Chris had chemotherapy. He weighed in at 188 lbs. White blood cell count 4.3. It will be interesting to watch that number, see what it does. So, please NO sick people near Chris:) It was a long day - six hours!! Five different drugs. Back to the drug being in a glass bottle because it would eat through the plastic bag!! This will last for five more weeks, every Thursday beginning at 9:30 am. My mom has kindly volunteered to pick Katie up from kindergarten and then take care of the other kids after school. I made my "medicine charts" yesterday to keep up with times and doses. Just like last time he has to take an antibiotic twice a day to control infection. He will soon have a rash all over and possibly lose his hair - he was suppose to last time but it just became thinner and right now it is nice and thick again and less gray!!! He also needs to take his lovenox shots twice a day to keep those darn blood clots away. I have done wayyyyy to much crying the last couple of days (ok, the last month:) knowing that I am going to become a single parent and caregiver to Chris. Not quite ready to do this again but I know that it's really the only way to keep Chris here longer. Just sooooo hard to watch him suffer. Last night he slept sitting up on the couch. It has already started!! My heart aches knowing that there is nothing that I can do. If only I could take a little (only a little - I'm not good with pain, hee, hee) of his pain away. And knowing that his pain and suffering are only going to get worse and that he at any time could end up in the hospital with an infection or blood clot. 14 years ago on September 18th we found out Chris had colon cancer. One of those days you remember just like December 12, 2008 we were told Chris only had 6 weeks to live.
Meg is adjusting to school, working and being away from home. She came home last weekend for two of her friends farewells, to do her laundry (I mean have ME do her laundry - she was off playing:) and raid the pantry. Rye, got his learners permit. Now we just need to take him out driving Ahhhhh. Anyone up for a challenge?? Tay, still loves school especially Friday late start. He gets to stay up late Thursday night and play the computer with Chris while everyone else has to go to bed. Jacob has started playing the violin. Monday and Wednesday morning before school he has practice. He loves walking around the house "playing it" and Katie she is NOT a morning person so every morning is a struggle to get her out of bed. Loves school once she gets there.

Chris went to the doctor Thursday. Dr. couldn't believe how great Chris looked. He told us that he expected Chris to be much thinner but instead he had gained six pounds since his last visit. Dr. was very excited:) Chris has decided to do chemo again. He will start on Sept 15th. He will have the same chemo as he had last round. Maybe this time he will lose his hair. It seemed to work. It made the tumors smaller. Right now he has three tumors that he can feel and they are big. He has been having a lot of trouble with his stomach. Chris told the dr. that he didn't want to do any scans so we are just using his neck as a guide to what is happening. I wish that he would do a scan just so that we knew where else the cancer has spread. Might give us another time line - that Chris can out live - hee, hee:) So, soon I promise to keep the blog up to date:):)

It has been a crazy, crazy month. Did lots of playing at the beginning and then BAM! Lots to do to get kids ready for school. Took Meg to BYU Provo (Go Cougars:). She has three roommates all sophomores who roomed together last year. She has had a hard time. Been homesick and been sick. She came home last Sunday sick so I took her to the doctor - thinking it was strep. Dr. thought it was meningitis and so he sent us to the ER where they did a CT scan and a Spinal tap. thank goodness no meningitis. But the whole thing was scary. She is going into nursing, wants to be a Physicians Assistant. Oh, and she found out the day she started school that she is a SOPHOMORE!!! Thanks to her hard work and the high school offering college classes. Way to go Meg!!

Rye, started 10th grade - High school. He has struggled this week. We let him drop his AP classes. I was sad but "he's not Megan" and so what if it takes him a little longer to get through college. Better to change classes then he and I being at each others throats all year:) And of course who knows when Chris will die, those classes would be hard on him during that situation. All week, every day I have had at least five people crying.

Today, Rye will have his Board of Review to get his Eagle. I know it's about time!!!:) He is running cross country - which he is good at and enjoys. He had his 16th bday. He blessed the Sacrament last Sunday. I couldn't stop crying seeing him and Taylor blessing and passing the Sacrament - makes a mother soooo proud. He hasn't been interested in getting his license but he is taking driver's ed so he needs his permit. We are doing that Tues. He went to his first dance Friday night. Can't believe he can date if he wants to:)

Tay, started middle school and loves it. He can't wait to learn how to play the trumpet in band and his favorite class is math ( he is in Algebra). He's one of the two that didn't cry this week. Chris was the other:) I've been a blubbering idiot. I am just sooo proud of my children and excited for the things that are going on in their lives.

Jacob started 4th grade. He's cried because before all the rest of the kids went to school he kept getting left out of the "Slurpee run" or the "Chick fila run" and of course having to go to bed earlier then everyone else and having homework. Poor boy. He wants to play the violin in the orchestra at his school so we are in the process of finding him one. Ahhh, what music will be filling our home, hee, hee.

Katie, started Kindergarten!!!!! That was tough one. Last child entering school. Wow!! what am I going to do with 2 1/2 hours to myself, five days in a row?!!

Chris, painted the deck and made a fancy pad for the trailer to sit on. He goes slowly and he gets frustrated that it takes him so much longer then it did when he was healthy. But, hey the rest of us are just so proud of him and so grateful that he is still around. It was neat to have him here to send off each child on their first day of school. I am not looking forward to having a very sick husband again. The throwing up, nausea, rash, possible blood clots, loss of appetite, and just plain tired/sleeping all the time.:(

We do continue to count are blessings. Life could be sooo much worse. We love you all and are so grateful for your friendship.

Love ya, Ricki