Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Thursday, Chris went and had his blood drawn (see picture -hee, hee). Chris lost 9 lbs in one week!!!!!! Not good. Friday morning I called the nurse to see when results would be in. The 11 year old scouts were invited to go with the 12 year old scouts on an overnighter and then a 5 mile hike. Chris was planning on going up with Taylor so if Chris needed an IV drip or if they felt he shouldn't go then we needed to know before 4:30pm when they left. Nurse said that potassium levels were wonderful and that he could stop taking pills and to have a good time camping:) Chris was verrrryyyy tired. He took a quick nap before he left and one in the car while waiting for boys to load up. He had 2 boys in his car plus Taylor. After loading up he came home THREW UP and then got back in the car and went to the campout!!!! I told him to stay home he was to sick to go but he said "Taylor needs me. He needs this time." (I'm still crying!!) Taylor did need that time with Chris, Tay has cried alot about how Chris won't be his scoutmaster like he was Ryan's. Even just yesterday we talked about it. Chris made it through the night but came home early Saturday morning. Tay stayed up and did the hike and then came home with other leaders.
Tay and Jacob were on the morning announcements at school this week. We all had haircuts so we can look good for Mickey Mouse. We cleaned the church - don't know how well. I know Katie and Jacob are really good at using a lot of cleaner:) I had Katie and her friend clean our sunbeam classroom really well.
One of Chris' best friends from high school (Our Ryan is named after him:) put together a dinner Saturday night. All the gang that hung out in high school and their families. It was a lot of fun seeing everyone and listening to stories about the "good ole' days." Thanks for doing that it was a lot of fun.
Once again we had bananas left at our house. Thanks:)
Meg was at school yesterday for four hours trying to fix her schedule. All fixed, now she thinks she needs a new outfit for "her first day of school" And we payed cross country fees. Ahhhhh
Rye received his schedule also tomorrow I will take him to Well, tomorrow is the big day. No, I haven't started packing yet. I atleast have the suit cases out -hee, hee. Tomorrow will be the big clean the house day. I insist that the house be clean before we leave for two reasons. 1-nice to come home too and 2-if we were to die I wouldn't want anyone to think that we were pigs. Hee hee. Last one always drives Chris crazy.
I have all of Chris' medicines ready to go. And we are wayyyyy excited about going. Can't wait to not clean or cook for two weeks. It's always difficult for me when I get home from a vacation like this. I'm expecting someone else to do all the work:)
Pray for Chris. He deserves to enjoy this trip. Who knows what the future holds. Thanks again to everyone who made this possible for our family. (I will not cry, I will not cry. . . .) We love you all tons. You are a blessing in our lives. Thanks again.
Love, Ricki

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

On my way home from taking Chris his pills the nurse calls and says that the doctor has decided that Chris needs to go to the ER for potassium he is concerned about his levels being to low and the pills not working fast enough (Chris doesn't absorb things well due to whipple surgery). I call Chris who is still at work. He tells me "No." (hates hospital, $, time, "he's busy") I ask him if he's going to Disney World with us. He says he will go after work. Ahhh. . . Gives me time to call grandma and have her come over (thanks), call the pizza guy for dinner, and explain to the children what is happening. I meet Chris at the hospital. They take his blood so they can check his potassium levels again. To much potassium is dangerous also - heart failure, liver failure. After 3 hours they come back to tell us that they won't be giving him any potassium his levels were a little low but not enough to risk heart or liver failure. So 4 hours later we enter the house to find it sparkling clean (thanks mom:), children and friends being good. I went into the kitchen to get Chris a banana and found that we didn't have any - we used to have about 10. I asked my mom if she knew where they went. With tears in her eyes she said that "The kids each ate two or three." Later I explained to them that they aren't taking chemotherapy and so what happened to dad couldn't happen to them. It soooo broke my heart. My poor babies. What they get to learn. Since Friday they have each had a banana with their breakfast. I have always told them to eat them to help prevent leg cramps. Meg always eats one before cross country.
I have made a "pill" chart so that I can keep up with Chris' pills and shots that he is suppose to take. Other wise I can't keep up. Some are taken in the morning, some at night and some both morning and night. Ahhhh :)
Thank you to whomever left the bananas on our porch, that was a fun surprise and as you can read they won't go to waste:)
Our "favorite Aunt" sent us a book that she made through shutterbug of our trip to California. So fun. We have enjoyed looking at it. Thank you also for the homemade wash clothes. Love um!!!
Sunday during Sacrament meeting Taylor remembered that he had to give a talk in Primary. So Chris whipped one out for him. I couldn't stop crying during the talk. Theme this month is "Jesus Chris Is the Son of God, and He Is a God of Miracles." This is "Taylor's talk:"
One of the great gifts we are given in our mortal life on earth is our physical body. Because our mortal life and body are temporary, our physical bodies suffer sickness, pain, and eventually die. This is part of the Plan of Salvation given by God. Jesus Christ is the Savior and Master of both our spiritual and physical salvation. He has the power and authority to take back his life physically as he did in the resurrection. Because of His atonement we all will be restored to perfect, and immortal physical bodies. This is a great truth to those who truly believe and rely on Jesus Christ as the Savior. In his mortal life, Jesus showed his power over life by showing mercy to the lame and sick. Many did he cure of blindness, various sicknesses, and disease. This was all done through his priesthood and authority as the savior. He showed his authority and power over physical life. Jesus Christ is the Savior. He is the author of our physical salvation. He is the Son of God. He is the head of our church, the only true church on earth. His authority is on earth today through the Priesthood. We too can be blessed, cured, and made alive through Christ. This I know is true. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
See why I couldn't stop crying?! I will save this talk in a special place not only because of the words but that it is also written in Chris' messy handwriting:) Hee, hee. Taylor wanted to keep it also so I made him a copy and he hung it over his bed. What a gift our family will miss, to be able to just "whip" out a wonderful talk.
Also Sunday a mother of a deacon came up to me to tell me how moved her son was when he passed the sacrament to Chris. Chris' hand was shaking and it was hard for him to hold the tray. It made him sad. Later that day he brought over a card that he made and a yummy raspberry cheesecake. Thank you.
This week is pretty much the same as last week-unless Chris throws us a curve ball!!! YM/YW, scouts, PTA meeting (this time at middle school), Chris' doctors appointment, homework, cross country, ward activity, Meg goes to High School and does her SENIOR year book picture (boo hoo:(, playing at recess with Tay and Jacob and we have the privilege of feeding the missionaries - not sure what yet. Maybe pizza since we feed them Thursday and that is our family tradition-Thursday pizza night. It has made my life a lot easier thanks to pizza and my mom.
Can you believe it, it is just about time to start packing for Disney World!!! Yesterday I filled out paperwork and made phone calls to three schools. To either get homework for kids or excuse them from missing school. Some friends gave us their "Christmas Jar" from a book they read. Jar full of coins and a copy of the book that goes with it. Our children have loved sorting and counting them. We told them that we will take the money to the bank and then split it five ways so that they can each have some spending money at Disney World. Thank you for your generosity and love. Buying souvenirs just makes the trip even more fun (love ya tons!!). For Family Home Evening last night we went over the itinerary of are trip and Chris showed us what are resort and our room will look like. We are wayyyyyy excited!!!!
Love to all, Ricki




Friday, August 6, 2010

Just received a phone call from Cancer center nurse she says that "Chris' potassium level is in the toilet!" and that "he shouldn't even be able to walk!" She told me that when potassium gets to low you can have a stroke and that leg function seizes to exist. YIKES!!! She said it was to late now to do an IV so she called in potassium pills that "Chris is to take religiously" We both agreed this could be why he has been so exhausted. I am leaving now to go to the pharmacy and then I will take him a pill since he doesn't get off until 7 pm she wants him started as soon as possible and of course she scared the heck out of me. So off I go:) Next Thursday they will check his potassium again. Nurse says it takes a day for results to come back.
love, Ricki
Yesterday before chemo Chris, Katie and I went and met with Katie's preschool teacher. We will be gone when she has her open house and school will have started by the time we get back. She was kind enough to let us come over early to meet her and see the school. Katie picked her "flowers" from the grass (morning glory:) - it was very cute and of course her teacher was wonderful about receiving the "flowers."
Then we came home and Chris rested for a while until we went to the school to have lunch with Jacob and have Taylor serve us lunch (he has been a lunch worker this week). Kids love Chris and he was surrounded by kids asking him to come out and play. He didn't because he was just to tired and sick.
Chris has been veerrryyyy ill all this week. He has missed work which is not like him and he has missed family things this week (Jacob receiving awards at pack meeting, scripture reading, dinner etc.) so you know he has felt rotten. The anti nausea medicine made it so that he didn't throw up but he was soooooo tired and in so much pain that we decided it wasn't worth it to try again this week. The nurses commented on how they have never had a patient react so badly to the Emend (drug he took last week) they even got on line to look it up they were astonished on how badly it made Chris feel, other patients love it. They don't know why his hand swelled up either. It was a veryyyy bad week for Chris last week. The doctor also decided to not give him the cisplatin at all this week (he was going to give him a smaller dose but after this last week he decided against it all together) which made his chemo treatment much shorter. When he takes the cisplatin he also has to have a bag of potassium which takes along time, it can't be dripped to fast. So he had a different anti nausea medicine and 2 other drugs. We were out of there in two hours:)
We came home and he went to bed. I looked through every ones backpacks and did my "homework:)" Chris and I went to Back to School Night at the elementary school. Chris was verrryyy sick. He really didn't want to go because he felt horrible. He was making me laugh because he kept complaining about all the PTA business. He does it just to spite me. I've done the PTA business portion many years. We try to make it fast so that we don't annoy people like Chris but it has to be done.:) We went and met Taylors teacher. After that he just couldn't do any more. He went home and I went and attended Jacobs class. I did a lot of crying last night especially after Chris left me. I sat in Jacobs class and thought about what it will be like next year. This last week has just been extremely hard because of Chris being so ill. I haven't seen him this sick since he had the whipple. It is soooo hard to watch someone in pain, hear them moan and groan, throw up, sleep a lot and know that there is nothing you can do to help them. I wish I could take some of his fatigue from him - you'll notice I didn't say pain - I'm a baby, my niceness doesn't extend that far:) It just breaks my heart. Especially when he says that he has had enough that he is ready to go. He is tired of his body. I wonder if chemo is really worth it. Quantity vs. Quality. Seeing what he is going through it would be hard but I could let him go. He is miserable. I look around and see that I am very blessed. I know a woman that just got divorced her ex husband doesn't pay child support and so she is working herself to death trying to provide for her family. I will be provided for and won't have to work myself to death (outside the home-hee, hee). It's not going to be easy but we will get through it. The kids have been great. They have each stepped it up a notch this week helping around the house and with Katie especially when my patience is running low with her.
Thank goodness we have time before we leave for Disney World for Chris to feel better.
Love, Ricki

Monday, August 2, 2010

Thursday we met with the doctor. We told him how Chris throws up alot after the chemo so he is reducing the amount of cisplatin that Chris is given. Dr. also gave Chris a lecture about taking the Lovenox. Because Chris has had blood clots he is at 50 percent higher rate of getting them again. He reminded Chris of how being in the hospital in Florida would not be fun. He told him that if he didn't do it any other time that he should definitely do it just before we leave for our trip. He also added another anti nausea drug called Edeme (spelling ?). They put some in his IV and then the rest he takes orally for two days after that he takes another drug called Dexamethason for 3 more days. We don't know how much this drug will cost us. The first time they give it to you free with a coupon from manufacture. Lady next to us said that she pays $80.00 for it! Yikes!! Whatever it takes if it works. I told the doctor how he throws up so much that his back hurts so much that he can't walk. We also have children who have a very hard time listening to him throw up. One of them counts how many times he throws up. So far as of today he hasn't thrown up but been veerrrryyy tired. Also the hand that they put the IV in swelled to double the size. Not sure why that happened. He has been in a lot of pain. Been irritable with all of us because he is in pain (we all know how that goes - when we hurt we take it out on others). I've been trying to explain that to children. It's hard to watch him suffer. Can't stand chemo part of this.
Today is Rye's 15th bday!! Wow time flies. If I wanted to Rye could go and get his learners permit today to DRIVE!!! Ahhhhh!!! Sorry, I don't think I'm ready for that. Jacob and Tay love school. Tay is very excited about being on the safety patrol committee at school. He came home upset Friday because his turn comes when we are on vacation but I spoke with the teacher and he'll be ok. I told him he could stay home:) Poor Jacob missed fun Friday activity at school because I missed a paper in his back pack. Thursdays are really hard on me. We usually don't get home until 7pm, then we eat, talk, get ready for bed, read scriptures etc. It's crazy that sitting for 6 hours makes someone tired. It broke my heart to see him cry. I don't think that I will forget again. To hard to see those tears. Katie will go and see her new school this Thursday and Rye and Meg are enjoying cross country. And I am just trying to keep track of everyone's coming and goings:) Who knew five kids could keep someone so busy. Don't know how people do it that work or have more then five kids.
Hopefully, this week will go well with chemo. Interested to see how much drug will cost us.
This week we have Rye's bday, YM/YW, orthodontist appointments for Jacob and Taylor, PTA meeting, Pack Meeting (where Jacob will get his awards for scout camp), Katie goes to her new school, chemotherapy, Back to School Night, cross country, school work, and I'm sure other things that will pop up. Good to be busy - No time to think.
Love, Ricki