Chris had chemo Thursday. Weight stayed the same. White blood cell count 2.4. They only had to stick him three times to get the IV in. He has sooo many bad veins:( They talked about him getting a port again but Chris doesn't want to. We spoke with the doctor this week and he would like to continue to do the Erbatux (which is the drug that doesn't make Chris as sick but gives him a rash) every Thursday til "he dies." Chris said that he would "think about it." Chris has two more weeks. Next week is the long day, realllllyyyy bad drug (Eraniteacan) which we are sooooo done with. Makes him soooo sick and exhausted. Sooo glad this is almost over. But then what?

Meg came home Tuesday to say "hi." She kept crying. I asked her "what was wrong?" and she told me that she didn't realize how bad Chris was. I guess when you are away for awhile and then come back you see things differently. For almost three years Meg has denied that he was going to die. She would say to me "stop saying that, he's not going to die!" She felt differently when she left.:( I had to kick her out at 11 pm. She did the same thing on Thursday. Ditched her class and came home to be with us. She met us at Rye's cross country meet. Chris had just had chemo an hour before. He ran all over that field yelling at the team:) I had either Meg or Rye stay up with him in case he needed anything. Rye, came in 9th in region - go Rye!!:) Meg asked if she could quit school and come home. I told her "no way." It's very difficult - we've been dealing with this for almost three years. she gave up Disneyworld and being a princess because she was worried Chris would die while she was gone. Guilt of not being there when he dies or living. It's hard. I feel guilty running around doing all that I do while Chris stays at home - sick. And the crazy thought of "will he be alive when I get home?" Wayyyy to many emotions. After the meet Chris was exhausted. We came home and he slept. Pizza was brought into us (thank you), my mom watched the kids and my brother took Tay to Civil Air Patrol.

No school Friday because of SEP's for Tay and Rye. They are both doing well in school. We just stuck around here because the other two are in school and Chris was sick. Saturday, Chris and I went to the Temple to watch are good friends have their adopted daughter sealed to them. Veryyy cool. They had a luncheon after for everyone but Chris was to tired and sick to go. He made it for the most important part:) Then we had a family bday party. Meg called later crying. she got a speeding ticket coming down Provo canyon. I still don't know exactly what she said she was crying to hard. I wanted to go and see her but Chris said that we needed to let her work it out herself:( (This is when a mother is on bended knee begging Heavenly Father to send someone to help her daughter.) So, Sunday we took a drive to "see the leaves" in Park City (where Meg works - hee, hee) and we checked on her.

Ok, so now it's Wednesday and I am now going to finish this post hee, hee. It has been a crazzy couple of days. Monday, I went on a field trip with Taylor and 500 other 7th graders to This is the Place Monument. While poor Chris stayed home with Jacob who had stomach flu - later I would find out that Chris didn't even realized that Jacob was home because Jacob is pretty independent and he just took care of himself!! Stayed in his room - didn't want to get Chris sick. For FHE we went and picked pumpkins. Chris felt realllly sick but he still came. Tuesday, I took care of Chris' speeding ticket that he got in Missouri this summer - we forgot about it until the State of UT said that if we didn't pay it by Oct. 24th they would suspend Chris' license. Ahhh!! Went shopping and started cooking for the teacher SEP dinner later today. My co partner called yesterday and told me that she couldn't do anything because she is way sick. so, I called Olive Garden to help with one of the soups and the bread sticks. Today, PTSA meeting, cooking, running around (went to the closet and found only three bowls - good thing I looked!!!!), feeding the teachers, Jacob and Katie's SEP's, YM's, cross country,orchestra, driving practice, . . . . . Tomorrow, Chris has the long chemo (Erbatux and Eranateacan). I will stay with him until 12:30 and then I have to leave. The middle school is having a fun run (1 1/2 miles) that I was asked to help with so my dad is going to come and hang out with Chris and drive him home afterwards.

Chris has had a hard time walking. He has a lot of cramping in his muscles. Tuesday, he had a hard time getting in the car. Tay and Katie are almost over their coughs. Just in time to give it to me:) Gotta go. Life is crazy but good. I'd fall apart if I wasn't busy. Don't like to have time to think:)

Love, Ricki