We've done a lot of fun things this past week starting with last Wednesday when Aunt Wanda and Uncle Ray (are favorite aunt named Wanda and are favorite uncle named Ray- hee, hee) from California came and visited us. When they came over to visit little did they know that they were going to be going on a road trip to Provo. They were so kind to drive down with us to Provo so that we could help Meg load up her stuff to bring home. We ate lunch in Provo and then headed back home with little room to move:) Meg is done with finals and living in Provo. We now get to figure out where to store all her stuff.

Tay did a fantastic job at his band concert playing the trumpet and Jacob did a great job with his orchestra concert - he had 3 of them. Chris made it to both Tay and Jacob's concerts. The night of Jacob's concert Chris was soooo tired after putting together and hosting he and Katie's hot chocolate party. We had 11 girls here (age 4-5). Chris decorated the kitchen and living room with lights, wrapped the kitchen table with Grinch wrapping paper, made hot chocolate, put plates, tea cups (I had real glass Christmas ones), spoons, cupcakes, cookies, gift bags (that he and Katie put together), crafts and got the movie ready (the Grinch - of course:). Chris had the boys put on white shirts and ties and had them help serve and help with the craft (gingerbread houses out of foam) and I video taped. What a fun time. What a fun dad. What a fun memory. Sooo precious.

Friday night the guys got together and played Dungeons and Dragons kids sure love playing (don't think the adults mind either:) Meg and I went to the gym - it was fun to have her along, it's more fun to go with someone.

Saturday, Katie, Jacob, some of Jacob's friends (couldn't get the older kids to come:) and I went and saw Chipwrecked for free (we won tickets to see it). We had a great time. We even won a Chipmunk movie, tshirts, balls and Jacob won a Play dough dentist kit. After we went to the music store to get Jacob Book II for his violin. I went up to Park City to play with my friends who have moved all over the state and even Florida (her husband flew her here for her bday and another friend set up the rest:) We ate, talked and shopped at the outlet mall. It was sooo much fun to hang out with them, boy do I miss them. While I was playing Chris took care of Jr. Jazz games for Tay and Jacob.

Sunday, Katie was suppose to give a talk in primary - which I forgot about until someone reminded me in the hall on the way to sharing time. I ran for Chris - he's soo good at coming up with talks quickly. He ran to the library and got a picture of Christ. Then he whispered "the talk" into Katie's ear and she repeated it. Ya, I'm crying!! It was such a beautiful, tender moment. I wish I could have video taped it. A father whispering words into his daughters ear and she repeating them, about Christmas and Christ's birth and how we can all be resurrected someday. What will I ever do without him?????

Monday, Chris worked in Katie's classroom (he did that last Monday also:), Jacob "played sick," - "gold bricker" as we call him. For FHE we did our family tradition of seeing the lights on Temple Square and of singing Christmas carols in the Energy Solutions building. We took friends with us and met friends there. It was a lot of fun (like always) singing Christmas carols, listening to the orchestra (trumpet and violin the most, of course), being with friends (seeing friends there that have moved) and family, seeing the Jazz Bear and Alex Boye (he was a hoot). After the lights we needed something warm so we went to Crown Burger (9:00 pm) and had dinner (hee, hee) and met my friend from Florida so that she could come home with us and we could take her to the airport Tues. (her brother lives in Provo and they all came down to see the lights and then "hand her over":). We finally got everyone in bed by 11:30!!! yikes!! I kicked Chris off his side of the bed and had him sleep on the couch so that my friend and I could stay up talking (and of course the bed is more comfortable then the couch- hee, hee). We stayed up talking til 3 am!!!

Tuesday, 6 am comes quick. I had to get Rye up and then myself because I had to be at Tay's school at 8:40 for a SEOP meeting with the school and Tay (Student Education Occupation Plan)

Before Tay left for school we said a prayer (like always) and in his prayer he thanked Heavenly Father for my friend and for "letting his mommy have a sleepover with her friend" (ya, I'm crying again:) After the meeting I ran home and helped (ok laughed at) my friend packing her stuff (she had to much fun shopping). We went to breakfast and had the "to die for" syrup at Kneaders. Oh, and some french toast:) and a Dr. Pepper. Needless to say I then went and bought a sandwich to counter act all the shaking I was doing from having to much sugar, hee, hee. After breakfast/lunch we went and saw some of her other friends. Time goes fast and it was time to take her to the airport. It was soo much fun having her. I have always felt like we knew each other before this life. We get along so well. She is amazing. I am verry, verry blessed to have her as a friend (ya, crying again). Oh, and for Christmas she brought me a "stick of butter" Christmas ornament from Paula Deen's restaurant in Georgia. Sooo funny. Our family laughed so hard. They know I am a Paula Deen fan and I LOVE butter!!! Story is when I was a kid I would eat sticks of butter just for fun and keep some under my pillow (hey, I don't remember this but my mom does:) When I got home Katie came up to me crying because she had gotten in trouble at school (Chris took care of it). A boy called her a name so she pushed him:( I went and picked Tay up from school to take him to the ortho., he had broken off a chain in his mouth. Made dinner before Jacob went to scouts, got my pj's on after I took him to scouts (I could barely function - soooo tired). I had Katie in bed by 7:30, told each kid what time they were to be in bed and then by 8:40 I was in bed. I was awakened by the phone ringing at 9:20 pm to hear Chris saying to the person on the other end of the phone "Are you ok?", "What happened?", "Do you need me to come and get you?" Heart pounding I come out to find out what happened (Meg worked today and was suppose to be home at 9). Dear, sweet Megan was in yet another car accident!! This time her fault. No one hurt. It was in the round about up in Park City on the way to the Outlet mall. It was driveable, at least to home. Meg also said that the girl that she hit and her mother were very nice. I looked at the car last night when she came home, it didn't look to bad. Then this morning when I went to take kids to school I saw it and started crying. It's not pretty. Even my dad said that he wouldn't work on it - she "shifted" everything six inches, too much work needs to be done and not sure if the frame is bent. (ya, crying again:) Called the insurance company to talk with them about this being Megan's second ticket (last one was speeding) and now an accident. How much is are deductible and how much are the monthly payments going up to? It's a $500.00 deductible on Meg's car and we won't see an increase in our insurance until August. Insurance agent told us also to let him know when Meg leaves for China then he can take her off for six months. So, when she comes back we will reevaluate what we are going to do about her and insurance. Meg no longer works at McDonald's. Chris and I will drive her to wherever she needs to go. Thank goodness she has a job interview today with a friend who owns a fast food store. Meg is sad but with our families situation things are different. She just needs to earn money and will soon be going to China. We keep telling her to keep her goal in sight. Things will work out. We love her soo much and are sad that she has to learn things "the hard way." Just another bump in the road:) I told her to look on the bright side - she can now spend more time with her dad while he drives her places - hee, hee. Everything will be fine as soon as she and I stop crying. LOL

Chris and Rye are at the Jazz game right now. Fun for them:)

Tomorrow (Thursday) I get to chaperone lunch at the middle school and Friday I feed the entire elementary staff (60 people) breakfast. I'm being lazy this year and buying french toast and "to die for" syrup and a fruit tray from Kneaders and serving drinks. Not to hard:) Then finally it will be a week of being lazy, lazy, and more lazy. Only a week - rats!!

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -Franklin D. Roosevelt

Merry Christmas. We love ya all, Ricki

Chris continues to lose his hair and very strange he is also loosing his toe nails!!!! He says that it doesn't hurt - which is good. He has also had cramping and swelling in his right foot. We are curious to see what will happen next:) He took Meg out shopping Friday afternoon, went to Uncle Bud's party (which we had a great time at - fun to see all the relatives). Saturday Tay's bball game was at 8 am. Chris didn't make it, he was very sick all night (didn't get a lot of sleep) thanks to all the good food he ate Friday night (taco soup HATES him). He went to the ward Christmas party Saturday night (fun to see and talk with ward members), played Dungeons and Dragons with the boys - who had been begging and begging to play. Tithing settlement and church Sunday and we celebrated Jacob's 10th birthday with cake, presents and family. Monday, for Family Home Evening we drove around and saw the Christmas lights. Went to two streets that are known for their lights and having Twas the Night Before Christmas story boards in each yard. Saw a reeallllyyy cool house that was decorated and had music to it. You tuned your radio to the station it had posted in its yard and then watched the lights dance with the music. Soooo cool. We then headed to get scones at Winder Dairy but we were to late so we are going to go tonight after school.

Jacob was suppose to get his braces off yesterday but the dentist decided that the front teeth weren't close enough together. 3 more weeks and lots of pain. They put bands on to pull them closer. Poor boy! He was sooo sad. When we got there he ran into the dentists office yelling that he was going to have a Twix bar soon and he stood by a poster on the wall that said "bye, bye braces Jacob" to get his picture taken (without complaining:). Are tradition is to take the child out to lunch to have ribs after they get their braces off. Jacob was sooo sad and in so much pain that we took him to get noodles for lunch before returning him to school.

A couple of times during the day I thought about all that happened three years ago and how are family has changed. What's important and what's not. How we've grown and how grateful I am that Chris is still with us. How nice this time of year feels thanks to him being here.

They changed the city that Megan is going to in China. she is now going to Changzhou. She is still verrrryyy excited. Changzhou is bigger and is closer to a lot of other cities so she will be able to travel more. It is also warmer. Most of the year it stays around 60 degrees. We are now in the process of getting her her physical and extra shots:) she's not worried she gives blood all the time. She has five finals this week and then will move back home and start working again so she has spending money in China.

We again have a busy week. Right now I have two sick kids. Tonight is bball practice for Tay (which Chris will help out with). Wednesday, orchestra for Jacob, scouts, and Tay has his band concert. He loves playing the trumpet and he is doing a great job.

Thursday, Jacob has three orchestra concerts. 9am, 2pm and 7pm and Tay has CAP. At 4pm Chris and Katie are having a "Hot Chocolate Party" with 9 girls from the ward. Chris made invitations and he and Katie delivered them yesterday to each of their homes. Hot chocolate, food, watching the Grinch movie and a craft. What a fuuuuunnnn dad:)

Friday, we get to breath:)

Saturday, we have a Jr. Jazz game at 11am and 7pm. And are family won tickets to see the movie "Alvin and the Chipmunks." Chris, Tay, Meg and Rye aren't going. Jacob is going under protest so I told him we'd find some friends of his to take. Hey, we never win anything!! I'm all about a free movie and free popcorn. Then if the movie is lame I don't feel bad - I didn't pay for it.

Hope ya all are almost done shopping.:):)

Love ya, Ricki

Meg is headed to China next month!! Weihai. Just saw a video of it from a guy who is there now (he was eating scorpions). Oh, Meg is going to love the bathrooms:) Makes me soooo grateful for what I have. Last week when I called the ILP (we gave Meg a "loan" - if she paid full amount by a certain date she got $300 off) I told them about Chris and if there was going to be a problem with her coming home for a (if there is one) funeral. They told me that it was a good thing that I said something because now they could get Meg a special visa. If she came home she wouldn't be able to go back until she paid for a new visa and she would have to wait for that visa. They also said to call their office and they would have their travel agent help me so that I could get a better rate on airfare. She is sooo excited to go.

We continue to have a broken washing machine. 12 days later!! We went to the laundry mat last Thursday and did 13 loads of laundry! 2 hours and $45.00 later.

The repairman came and decided what he thought was wrong. We waited for parts to come. He installed them, still doesn't work. Try replacing more parts ($162.00 later) or buy new washing machine? Today we are going shopping. And today, we had better come home with a washer!!! Soooo, grateful to have a washing machine in my own home. Wash when I want, what I want, and not have to sit there and watch my laundry - and Katie crawl all over the dirty floor looking for money - as I yell at her "Get up, we can't wash the clothes you're wearing at home and take off your coat you're getting it dirty!!" Grateful knowing that "this isn't a forever thing." Nice to get it all of it done at once instead of doing it for hours at home. Chris, Katie and I ate lunch, talked, did homework (with Katie:), and read the newspaper. I will say folding 13 loads of laundry at once "is not fun!!!"

Chris continues to lose his hair. He says that "the roots of his hair hurt." He doesn't have any side burns. His foot has also been hurting him for the past couple of days so he has been limping. He wants to put one more string of lights on our house and he finished putting the lights on the tree. He has been busy coaching Jr. Jazz practice. Last week both coaches (and tonight Tay's coach) need him to take over practice. Which he loves:) He has also been busy helping with homework (typed up a big assignment for Rye) and helps Katie everyday with her alphabet sounds and sight words. Still craves Slurpees. He also loves beans and mexican food from Del Taco (went there Saturday) and you can always find a bowl full of mint M&M's on the table.

Last night we celebrated Jacob's birthday. His bday is December 24th - to hard to do anything. We had a great time playing laser tag, go carting, bumper cars, bowling and playing miniature golf. Oh, and eating the buffet dinner:) We will have the family bday party on Sunday. Poor Chris was totally exhausted after that. What a trooper:) Crazy to think that two years ago we were celebrating Chris being able to baptize Jacob. He was baptized on his bday and a luncheon and bday cake were provided by a special family for us to enjoy afterwards.

This week is moving fast. We are very busy. Jr. Jazz practice for Tay and Jacob, pack meeting, orchestra practice, I have two PTA meetings this week, work in Jacob's classroom, CAP, we have are favorite Christmas party - Uncle Bud's party (my dad's brother) we eat, Santa comes with presents and the kids play games and make crafts (I'm in charge this year of the crafts:) and the adults talk. Tons of fun to see everyone. Then Saturday morning Tay has a bball game at 8:00am, scout service project at 9:00am, Chris will take Meg out to eat and shopping (last kid) and then we have are ward Christmas party. Tis the season for fun:) No resting until after the new year.

Last Thursday was Civil Air Patrol's 70th anniversary celebration. It was neat to see all the cadets in Air Force uniforms and marching. Tay did a great job.

Loved the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. Can't wait to watch the videos they are producing. Feeling very happy and blessed.

Love, Ricki

Chris is doing O.K. It's been five weeks since he had chemo. Last week his hair started falling out by the handfuls. He has very thick hair so it might be hard to tell but it is alot thinner. He wants to shave his head. We find his hair in the food and on the kitchen counter etc. First I thought it was the cat. His fingers are almost healed and he has been able to do things that he wants to do. He put up Christmas lights on our house (he was to sick to do it last year). He has taken Ryan, Taylor, Jacob and Katie each Christmas shopping and out to eat (he will take Megan next weekend when she comes home). He pulled my washing machine apart to see what was wrong (with the guidance of "British James" on u tube) - we are going to the laundry mat today, we've been without a washing machine for a week!! The repair man said the part will be in on Friday or Saturday. It was cheaper to repair the old one then get a new one (darn it:) I wanted a pretty red front loader) And he is helping coach Tay and Jacob's Jr. Jazz bball teams.

Katie and Jacob have been sick this month. Jacob will get his braces off on Dec. 12th at which time he will get a retainer that will have a fake tooth on it. He is missing a tooth (just like Chris). When he is older he will have braces put back on but for now the dentist was fixing his bite. He is excited to get all that metal out of his mouth:)
Took Rye to the foot doctor. He hurt his foot during cross country and it has been hurting him a lot. Thank goodness nothing serious was wrong. They took xray and found that he isn't done growing - he was very excited. His foot was hurting because he is growing and needed some arch support. Easy to fix. We also enjoyed going to his cross country banquet. We also celebrated him receiving his Eagle Scout award. Chris was ill that night and we started late so we could wait for him. It was a wonderful evening. Rye gave one mentor pin to Chris for being a wonderful father and scout master to him and the other mentor pin went to the young man that helped Rye with his Eagle - the young man is on his mission right now (in Brazil) so we asked his family to come so that Rye could pin it on his mom and we would send it to him. Chris worked hours and hours on Rye's video. It was sooo much fun to watch. Chris did a great job - like always. I must say I am sooooo glad to have it all the way over.
We had are Primary program this month. It was wonderful and we were soooo blessed to have a special visitor "pop" in to see us. Dallin H. Oaks came and watched. He was so fun to watch. He smiled at every child after they finished their line. He also spoke to us. Katie and Jacob both had their lines memorized - so proud. After the meeting Chris, Meg, Tay, and Rye went and shook his hand. Very cool. I know we live in Utah but we really don't get many opportunities to shake a General Authorities hand and sit so close.
We had a very nice Thanksgiving. Chris wanted to have a real tree for xmas so we went and bought one. Tay, Jacob and Katie have never had a real tree before. Smells so good. It's tall and bushy.
Meg got her passport last week and is still very excited about going to China. she moves back home Dec. 18th. She will work, work and work so that she can pay for her trip and extra spending money there.
Chris and his two friends decided that they wanted to teach their sons how to play Dungeon and Dragons just like they used to play as kids (get them to use their imaginations:) It's sooo fun to watch and listen to them play. They are having such a good time. They have been playing once a week for the past month. Nine people total - makes for a lot of noise:)
Can't believe it's December!! On December 12th it will be 3 years since the social worker came out and took me into a room with him, the doctor and a large box of kleenex to tell me that Chris only had 6 weeks to live. I can still remember the whole thing as if it was yesterday. My how our lives have changed!! We just keep adjusting to the different situations that come at us. Sooo grateful to still have Chris with us. Life will be sooo awful when he is gone. I've gotten used to having him around 24 /7 (I didn't think I ever would:). I know he would rather be at work but sure has been nice to eat dinner as a family at 5:00 pm if that's the only time we can eat because of everyone's schedule or eating lunch with one of the kids at school, Katie and him going and getting a Slurpee, helping with homework and typing projects, making an Eagle Scout video for Rye and many other things.
Oh, and he learned to appreciate me more this week!! LOL When he was taking the washer apart he kept telling me he was "sorry that I had to work in these conditions" You know how it goes all around the machine is lint, lint and more lint. No matter how often you clean it, it comes back:) and mounds of dirty laundry all around. I couldn't stop smiling, he had such a good time watching those videos and then going downstairs and doing what the guy said. He was like a kid in a candy store. And he and the appliance repair man "talking shop." I did video tape him. It was fun to see him having fun. Oh, how I love him:)
Love, Ricki

Sorry, been crazy. Chris finished his chemo. Only took one poke:) Lost 2 lbs. Chris was sick Friday morning so we didn't go to all of Megs classes. We made it for her afternoon classes she gave us a tour of campus and then we took her and our nephew out to eat. Saturday, Chris was a real trooper. He didn't feel well but he came with us to the Idaho/BYU game. We were seated wayyyy at the top and it was extremely hot!! I went and bought sun screen and a hat for Chris. After the game we took Meg to eat then headed home. I drove home Chris was sooo worn out poor guy. We didn't end up going to church with Meg on Sunday - she had regional conference. She said all they talked about was "marriage." "So boring"

Lots has been going on since then. Chris' fingers are so badly split and bleeding that he can't even hold a piece of paper. Hard to watch him be in so much pain. He puts neosporin on them and band aids and he feels like his face is going to fall off - it's so dry. Even after lotion. His stomach seems to be getting worse. Food digesting in less then 24 hours. He eats constantly but doesn't gain weight. Friday, night (Nov 4) threw up. Food not liking him. He's tired usually takes a nap during the day. We've had fun with Jacob and Katie off track. Don't know what Jacob is going to do without a Slurpee everyday:) (this is the last week:(

Ok, now it's Monday morning:) Chris took kids trick-or-treating on Halloween. He "drove" them but that was better then last year when he couldn't go at all. Katie was Bell from Beauty and the Beast, Jacob was a pirate (shocker:), Tay was a Utes fan - ha, ha, and Rye was just Rye (he went to a party and then went trick or treating to a few houses, people still gave him candy - people way to nice or just scared of teenagers. Lol). Meg came up and her and I handed out candy.

On Friday, (Nov. 4) Meg decided that she's going to go to CHINA for five months to teach English to elementary students!!! She leaves either January or February. When we talked she had some hurdles- like, getting rid of her apartment contract and money. Meg has a job interview today in Provo so that she can earn the money to go and she had her interview with her Bishop yesterday and is getting a letter of recommendation from her high school coach. And as of yesterday her best friend from high school is going also. Until she leaves she will now take a class a couple times a week on the culture, what to expect, etc. While there they will get to travel. Meg is sooooo excited!! Chris talked with her yesterday telling her that if he dies while she is in China that she isn't coming home (that's when I like to remind him that he doesn't have a say, hee hee). Too much money and "she doesn't need to see his dead, cold body in a box." My dad told her "he'll tape it." Kind of crazy how she has done a 180. Just a couple of weeks ago she was begging to come home to be with him - now she's off to China. Chris has been having a great time with this - all weekend he looks at me, says the word "China" and I start crying!!!! Funny boy!! I know she will have fun and learn a lot. A friend told me "that we should all go to a third world country so we can be grateful for what we have." I did tell Chris that I should go with her. He can hold down the fort:)

Tay and Jacob are doing Jr. Jazz again this year. Ahhh, I was hoping that they would forget:) Chris is signed up to be the assistant coach to Tay's team -the coach is a good friend who knows that Chris may or may not be able to help.

We continue to keep busy. This week FHE, orchestra, Rye driving with his driving instructor:), orthodontist appoint, scouts, relief society, ptsa meeting, feeding the teachers - thank goodness my assistant isn't sick (quick knock on wood:), CAP, and Tay and Rye have a scout campout - Turkey Shoot. Chris said he will try and go. last year he went for a while and then had to come home. Hope he can go:) Chris is also starting to take kids out to dinner and Christmas shopping. Because Katie and Jacob are off this week he is going to take each of them separately during the day - should be easier on him:) So much to do:) Bought the Michael Buble Christmas album love it:) Tis the season. Sooo grateful.

Love ya all, Ricki

Chris had chemo yesterday. Weight again stayed the same. White blood cell count 2.7 - that's still ok but blood cell count going up also means that your body is trying to fight something. ahhh. The nurse finally got the IV in on the third try but after just one bag (he gets five today) his vein decided to close. Chris was in a TON of pain. He has a very high pain tolerance so it must have been just awful. It was hard watching him. They took the needle out and found another vein. A smaller vein that we monitored closely and Chris kept a warm rice pack on his arm the whole time to keep it open. He slept the whole time. My dad came at 12:30 and stayed with Chris, took him to eat and then home so that I could help at the middle school. When I got home he was resting. He told me that "he wished he hadn't done chemo today." He was very sick all night (I can hear him throwing up right now), he is using a wet washcloth on his forehead and drinking a lot (one of the medicines gives you dry mouth).
So glad we had SEP's for Katie and Jacob yesterday so that he could attend. I'm sure other parents think I'm crazy taking pictures of the kids with their teacher and Chris but I want the kids to remember how important they were to him - that he came to everything even if he wasn't feeling well. Chris bought them books at the book fair for doing well in school:)
Jacob came and helped me with the teacher dinner. I had him place the bread sticks in the oven to keep them warm and he burned his arm on the top of the oven!! My poor boy. It still looks bad. He was a big help.
Yesterday, Tay and I did the fun run at the middle school it was fun but crazy - 1400 kids walking/running a mile and a half through the neighborhood. The kids did a great job. We had three policeman at different locations, lots of teachers and parents and a school bus all helping contain the kids:):)
Later I had Rye drive me to do my errands. He did a good job I just wish i would stop holding onto the door handle so hard - it's not going to save me:) Tay went to Civil Air Patrol for the first time alone. Tomorrow we will go and get his uniform - Blues - just like they wear in the Air Force.
Glad it's Friday. The next couple of weeks will be much slower. I would love to sit down:) Saturday, we have a primary activity, and get Tay's uniform. Sunday, are friends are blessing their baby (hopefully Chris will be well enough to attend). Monday, orchestra, FHE, and I work in Katie's classroom. Tuesday, Jacob scouts and Rye goes driving with his driving instructor (Ahhhh). Wednesday, orchestra, scouts for Tay and Rye and early out day for Jacob and Katie and. . .. we go off track Yeah!!! I say it half happy - I still have a high schooler and middle schooler that I have to get up for school. But, I will make every attempt to get back in bed after I get them out the door:) No school Thursday or Friday for anyone:) Next Frid, Sat and Sunday are parents weekend at BYU. I bought us tickets to the BYU vs Idaho football game. Tay keeps saying he's "wearing his U of U shirt" to the game. ha, ha that's what he thinks:)
"The Lord does not always heal the sick, nor save those in hazardous zones. He does not always relieve suffering and distress, for even these seemingly undesirable conditions may be part of a purposeful plan." President Spencer W. Kimball
Love ya, Ricki

Chris had chemo Thursday. Weight stayed the same. White blood cell count 2.4. They only had to stick him three times to get the IV in. He has sooo many bad veins:( They talked about him getting a port again but Chris doesn't want to. We spoke with the doctor this week and he would like to continue to do the Erbatux (which is the drug that doesn't make Chris as sick but gives him a rash) every Thursday til "he dies." Chris said that he would "think about it." Chris has two more weeks. Next week is the long day, realllllyyyy bad drug (Eraniteacan) which we are sooooo done with. Makes him soooo sick and exhausted. Sooo glad this is almost over. But then what?

Meg came home Tuesday to say "hi." She kept crying. I asked her "what was wrong?" and she told me that she didn't realize how bad Chris was. I guess when you are away for awhile and then come back you see things differently. For almost three years Meg has denied that he was going to die. She would say to me "stop saying that, he's not going to die!" She felt differently when she left.:( I had to kick her out at 11 pm. She did the same thing on Thursday. Ditched her class and came home to be with us. She met us at Rye's cross country meet. Chris had just had chemo an hour before. He ran all over that field yelling at the team:) I had either Meg or Rye stay up with him in case he needed anything. Rye, came in 9th in region - go Rye!!:) Meg asked if she could quit school and come home. I told her "no way." It's very difficult - we've been dealing with this for almost three years. she gave up Disneyworld and being a princess because she was worried Chris would die while she was gone. Guilt of not being there when he dies or living. It's hard. I feel guilty running around doing all that I do while Chris stays at home - sick. And the crazy thought of "will he be alive when I get home?" Wayyyy to many emotions. After the meet Chris was exhausted. We came home and he slept. Pizza was brought into us (thank you), my mom watched the kids and my brother took Tay to Civil Air Patrol.

No school Friday because of SEP's for Tay and Rye. They are both doing well in school. We just stuck around here because the other two are in school and Chris was sick. Saturday, Chris and I went to the Temple to watch are good friends have their adopted daughter sealed to them. Veryyy cool. They had a luncheon after for everyone but Chris was to tired and sick to go. He made it for the most important part:) Then we had a family bday party. Meg called later crying. she got a speeding ticket coming down Provo canyon. I still don't know exactly what she said she was crying to hard. I wanted to go and see her but Chris said that we needed to let her work it out herself:( (This is when a mother is on bended knee begging Heavenly Father to send someone to help her daughter.) So, Sunday we took a drive to "see the leaves" in Park City (where Meg works - hee, hee) and we checked on her.

Ok, so now it's Wednesday and I am now going to finish this post hee, hee. It has been a crazzy couple of days. Monday, I went on a field trip with Taylor and 500 other 7th graders to This is the Place Monument. While poor Chris stayed home with Jacob who had stomach flu - later I would find out that Chris didn't even realized that Jacob was home because Jacob is pretty independent and he just took care of himself!! Stayed in his room - didn't want to get Chris sick. For FHE we went and picked pumpkins. Chris felt realllly sick but he still came. Tuesday, I took care of Chris' speeding ticket that he got in Missouri this summer - we forgot about it until the State of UT said that if we didn't pay it by Oct. 24th they would suspend Chris' license. Ahhh!! Went shopping and started cooking for the teacher SEP dinner later today. My co partner called yesterday and told me that she couldn't do anything because she is way sick. so, I called Olive Garden to help with one of the soups and the bread sticks. Today, PTSA meeting, cooking, running around (went to the closet and found only three bowls - good thing I looked!!!!), feeding the teachers, Jacob and Katie's SEP's, YM's, cross country,orchestra, driving practice, . . . . . Tomorrow, Chris has the long chemo (Erbatux and Eranateacan). I will stay with him until 12:30 and then I have to leave. The middle school is having a fun run (1 1/2 miles) that I was asked to help with so my dad is going to come and hang out with Chris and drive him home afterwards.

Chris has had a hard time walking. He has a lot of cramping in his muscles. Tuesday, he had a hard time getting in the car. Tay and Katie are almost over their coughs. Just in time to give it to me:) Gotta go. Life is crazy but good. I'd fall apart if I wasn't busy. Don't like to have time to think:)

Love, Ricki