Yesterday Chris went to work!! Chris had only signed up for 3 weeks of short term disability so either he had to go to work or take vacation which he did not want to do. He wants to save it all for the activities he has planned this summer (scout camp, Disney World). I cried a lot yesterday I was very worried about the whole thing. I called Dr. Ott and he called Chris. He told Chris that he needed to stay on schedule taking his medicine, checking his insulin and stay sitting up. Chris’ friends took him to lunch yesterday they made the sacrifice to go to KFC so that Chris could try eating some mashed potatoes (they stayed down :) He came home around 5:30pm. He was verrrryyy tired. Yesterday morning Chris had promised to get Katie a treat from the gas station if she hugged him. He kept his promise to her and brought her a treat but he also brought us each one (what do think mine was? he, he-Dr. Pepper of course). He’s so sweet. We “the nurses” set Chris up on the couch with his feeding tube, pillows, blanket and medicine. We read scriptures with Chris downstairs and then for Family Home Evening we went up to the boy’s bedroom and played Apples to Apples had a lesson and then I took the boys and we went swimming at the pool. Katie fell asleep and Megan took care of both Chris and Katie while we were gone. Friday I took Megan, Ryan and Jacob to the podiatrist (foot doctor :) Cousin Mike where are you when we need you?) Megan was having problems with her big toe. The doctor removed her toe nail so now she is in a lot of pain. Yesterday she had an aerobics class at school and instead of participating because her foot hurt she had to write a two page paper. She was not happy she would have much rather done aerobics she enjoys that class. Jacob and Ryan were lucky enough to have warts on the bottom of their feet. We have to put medicine on each night and cover them with band-aids. Megan has to soak her toe in Epsom salt and take medicine for about a week then we will start putting Lamisil on her toe. Good times :) Love, Ricki

Yesterday morning Katie and I went to a Council PTA meeting thinking that Chris would be able to have some peace and quiet. But that's not how it works with this family. The elementary school called me on my cell phone during the meeting and told me that Tay was sick. I'm thirty minutes away from him so I call Chris to see if he's well enough to drive up and get him from school. He said he could do it. I called the school and told them that Chris would not be coming into the school and to have Tay watch for him at the front doors. Then he could go and tell the secretaries he was there--of course I told the secretary what color our car was etc. . . I left the meeting early so that I could get home and take care of both my patients. Next year, I won't have to go to so many PTA meetings. I won't be the president anymore. I'm doing something easy - Volunteer Coordinator (Ahhh, easy:) Chris didn't get to walk much today because of the weather. He's going stir crazy having to be in the house. Last night, Ryan, Grandma and I went to his Court of Honor for scouts. He has earned his Life rank. He also received the Denistry, Indian Lore, Personal Management, Genealogy, and Golf merit badge. He is three badges and a project away from being an Eagle Scout, so if anyone has any ideas we'd love to hear them. We were thinking a community blood drive and health fair (all about cancer awareness:) But we'd love some ideas--or if there is a need where you live and we can help, let us know. Chris is the Scoutmaster and would love to see "his boys" become Eagles before he passes away. The Court of Honor was hard to be at without Chris. The other leaders did a great job but something (someone) was missing. Usually, when the boy advances they have the mother and father come up and the scout puts a pin on his mother. I missed my Chrissie. Last night was his time to shine because of all the hard work that he's done with the boys. He would never want credit that way, but he deserves it. Scoutmaster is a lot of work but Chris loves it. When Chris and I were dating I told him that I loved camping. But I lied! I really don't (he, he--I just wanted him to like me) so I've always been glad when he is scoutmaster so that he can get all that camping out of his system and still love me even though I lied:) Anyway, last night was emotional for me. Maybe someday I'll stop feeling sorry for myself :). Love ya, Ricki

Yesterday morning I had Taylor say the prayer and in his prayer he thanked Heavenly Father for helping the doctors let his daddy live longer. That was the beginning and end of the "I'm not going to cry today" line that I tell myself every morning . Chris still continues to be in a lot of pain. He had to give himself insulin again. Katie and I went and worked in Jacob's classroom. Jacob's teacher is so kind to let me bring Katie when I need too. I don't like to leave Chris home alone for too long but I also know he could use a little quiet time without Katie and I. Ryan had basketball practice after school and a choir concert later that night. It was a crazy evening. I had Megan take care of everything here at home (bathing Katie, getting Tay off to scouts, helping dad with his medicines and feeding tube), while my mom and I went to Rye's choir concert. For dinner I made hamburgers. It was a stupid thing to do but I didn't have much time to do anything else. I tortured Chris pretty good with the smell, because he decided to try eating one. Not much, small bites, chewed well. I tried to tell him that it wasn't a good idea, but for all of you that know Chris "he will decide what is best for him:)." When I walked in the door from the choir concert all the kids came running to tell me that daddy had thrown up the hamburger. I guess we know that the stomach isn't working :( The garage isn't set up yet because its sooo cold outside. Tonight I will figure out something. I can't watch him be sad because he now knows that for sure his stomach isn't working. (I would like to tell him that he should probably start with pudding or something a little less fatty, but- I won't). I just can't even imagine what he is feeling inside not being able to eat. It breaks my heart. Love, Ricki

OK, OK so I’m very sorry for all of the grammar mistakes on yesterday’s blog (be afraid I am going back to school to be a teacher he, he). Sometimes I’m a little tired and I don’t catch them. I’m sure that my mother-in-law is just dieing (she taught school-English teacher, wrote for the newspaper, teaches English in China etc). Please forgive me. This morning at 3:15 am (AM!) Chris gave himself his first insulin shot since we got home. Maybe it was caused by eating a cooked carrot and potato that he found in the fridge from last weeks dinner. Who knows? Chris was still in a lot of pain today. He didn’t get to walk outside very much today because it snowed all day and the wind was colder than cold. He did better taking his pain pills on time. He did sneak a couple of bites of homemade bread that are friend made (it’s wonderful-so I couldn’t get to mad). Chris’ sister and her family came all the way from Oregon to bring us dinner and visit with Chris. Thanks for dinner that was so sweet of you guys.:0) Tonight we had Family Home Evening, read scriptures and now everyone is in bed (including Chris). Ahhh quiet. Now I’m going to get ready for bed and watch “Will Work for Food” until midnight when nurse Ricki has to give out pills and check insulin:0). Love, Ricki

Chris is still in a lot of pain. I can usually tell when it’s really bad because he takes his pain medicine:) He is still not sleeping well at night because of the feeding tube and pain. Yesterday someone left a Frito on the counter and Chris ate it, who knows what will happen to him. Poor guy, we need to be more careful. Tomorrow I am going to turn my garage into a picnic eating area. I am going to get our picnic table, umbrella and lawn chairs out (maybe even some x-mas lights). Also a friend is going to let us borrow his microwave (mine is built in). I hope this will help with the food issues and still eating together somewhat as a family (no Chris) and bring some fun to an unusual situation. Yesterday Jacob was very cute, he told me he was ok with eating cold pizza because he didn’t want dad to feel bad (Ahhh). Our sweet cousin Dale has come over the last couple days and played with the kids. They enjoy him very much, he loves to play DS, PS2 and Wii and he has lotttsss of games. What more could you ask for? I made him come with us to dinner and Target last night, though he’s probably not going to come over ever again. One of my children decided to throw himself down on the ground in the middle of Target and cry (not Katie – though she was crying also because I wouldn’t get her any candy) because I wouldn’t buy them new shoes (not Jacob). I laughed as hard as I could fearing that I would have a melt down right there in the store, leaving Dale even more mortified. We have a crazy life right now and I am praying verryyy hard for patience (he has never done that before in his life). Megan asked me why I don’t let her drive very often and I told her because I have no control over anything in my life right now, and driving the car gives me more control than if she was driving (I don’t have a brake on the passenger side like the driver’s ed teacher). Poor girl. I am very much looking forward to our trip to Disney World in May. We are going May 18- June 1. Chris wanted to be there for his bday. We are staying in the Caribbean Beach Resort in pirate decorated rooms (we love pirates). A very sweet family that we met in the hospital has offered to help fund are trip. WOW! (No I didn’t mean World of Warcraft for all you junkies:) What a blessing it will be if it happens. Last year we went to Disney World but we had saved our pennies and didn’t go into any debt. This time is different. You do what you gotta do. I hope it all works out. It would be another miracle to add to are list of miracles that we have received. May God bless all of you with what you need. Miracles do happen. We love you guys. Love, Ricki

Wednesday night was a nightmare. Chris was in soooo much pain. We called the doctor Thursday morning (6am – Chris didn’t want to bother him). A couple of times during the night Chris said that he wished he was back in the hospital so that they could put pain medicine in his IV. I don’t remember either of us sleeping. He didn’t sleep a lot during the day either. He did go for a couple of "wachs" (he, he can't help it) around our circle – cutest thing, Katie and Chris holding hands walking around the circle (I took lots of video and pictures) and then Katie went and got her doctors kit which has a stethoscope in it and she listened to Chris’ heart (while Chris made the beating heart sound). Couldn’t stop smilin' :o) so cute! I’m not quite sure how to handle the food issue at our house. I don’t want to cook anything here. I think the smells will be hard on Chris. I will try to figure it out but for now I took the kids (except Megan – who watched Chris) out to eat. We have hidden Chris’ favorite foods (in a couple of weeks I'll have to figure out where I hid them:). He still wants to drink but thank goodness he’s not so desperate that he wants to drink dirty water. LOL. The home health nurse came again last night around 6:30pm (he won't come again until next week). Chris and Megan had already set up the whole thing (he was impressed). Chris played the computer to distract himself (this is the only time I will say thank goodness for WOW). Last night was still a long night with having to add more formula to the bag, checking blood sugars (between 82-112), pain pills, stomach pills (each taken at different times. Pain every 3 hrs. Stomach every 8 hrs) and of course the constant pain he has to endure. Things will get better. We appreciate all the prayers. Love, Ricki

Turn of events. Today Dr. Ott came in around 10 am, asked Chris some questions about himself and if the night nurse had done all that he ordered. Both Chris and my dad said that the nurse he had last night was “useless” the doctor also agreed because she had not followed his instructions. So…. he asked Chris if he wanted to go home and be taken care of by a better nurse (ha, ha, he didn’t read my blog from the other day). So by 4:30pm we were on are way home. IHC Home Health delivered are pump, formula and supplies at about 7:00pm (which Chris is suppose to start eating at 6pm). Then the home health nurse came by to set up the pump. The pump ended up being broken. So we had to sit and wait for a new one to come. By the time we all got trained (I had all the kids sit in and learn, they each practiced threading the machine- they all begged to flush the line but that’s my job he, he (unless I’m not home, then they can flush the line and squirt daddy – he loves it:0). It was 9:00pm Chris was 3 hours late on eating. He also checked his insulin (94). He is sleeping on the couch because he has to be at a 30 degree angle or higher. We have set up all the supplies for the next feeding. I don’t know what time that will be. I gave Chris his cell phone so that he can text me and I will come down and help him pour the other three cans of formula into his bag, flush his line, give him his pain medicine, check his insulin and write it down for the doctor, and then possibly he and I will go back to sleep. He is still in a lot of pain. He is only allowed to drink water when he takes his pain pill. And we are to call the doctor Mon, Wed, and Fri. to give him a report of how things are going and also give him insulin numbers. Chris is a tough cookie he’ll get through this. Tomorrow night the home health nurse will come again and make sure that we did everything correctly. The nurse complimented Jacob on threading the tubing through the cassette he said that "Jacob did it the best". That’s my boy!! We are now home and onto are next adventure. May we have patience with each other (he, he). Thanks mom and dad for all your hard work during this time we couldn’t have made it without you guys. We love you tons and tons. Love, Ricki

Another lousy day. He threw up again but this time it was just bile because they had taken him off of all liquids. Only 15 ice chips an hour. Dr. Ott also ordered another abdominal x-ray. Again he hardly walked and didn’t make small talk with anyone. We’re back to no TV, but at least the temperature in the room is a warm 65 (ha, ha). We also learned how to use a diabetes monitor, test strips, needles, insulin etc. I told my children that we will be learning a lot. They want his blood tested 3 times during the night when he comes home. That is when he will eat through his feeding tube. He has 12 hours to eat. They will be giving him 2200 calories. The feeding bag only holds four cups at a time so during the night we will need to add to the bag 3 times (and check his insulin). I’m not sure when we are suppose to sleep:) Chris again was not well enough for the kids to come up. I had some of them talk to him on the phone. Sorry, I didn’t write last night but Ryan fell off the monkey bars at some friends house and fell on his head!!! If you’ll remember Ryan spent 5 days in ICU in May of last year for head trauma. So we watched him. He has a large goose egg on the back of his head. He cried a lot but I believe he is doing ok (he didn’t take off his clothes and run around the neighborhood, and he remembered who I was:) It’s all good I’m bored during the day laying on the hospital sofa, reading magazines and sipping Dr. Pepper (Ahh, the life of a caregiver). I’ve had to stop scrap booking because I kinked my neck some how, so it hurts to look down. I did get 32 pages done before I hurt my neck. (only 4 more years to go till I'm finished with Jacob's book - he, he) We love you all. Take care. Love, Ricki

Today we took a step backwards. He has been in tons of pain due to his stomach. They took him off his pain pump this morning. He tried having some orange Jell-O, grape juice and some pain meds by mouth but a couple hours later he threw them up. Which reallllllyyyy hurt. They then gave him pain medicine through his IV. He is again taking insulin. Tomorrow they told me that they will train me to test blood sugars and give insulin at home. (Thank goodness I have experts all around me if I need help.:) He hardly slept today due to the pain. This afternoon they showed me how to fill, monitor, unclog and manage the feeding pump. When he comes home IHC Home health care will come and give us another lesson when they set it up. He also had another chest x-ray we will find out the results tomorrow. The kids were supposed to come up tonight and have dinner and family home evening but he asked that they not come because of the pain. He hardly walked today and when he did he didn’t talk to anyone it hurt so badly. This is a hard blog to write today. I sit helplessly by and watch the person that I love suffer. How I wish I could take some of his pain. Love, Ricki

Today was better. He’s having a lot of pain in his stomach. He’s still hitting the pain pump. Which actually has Dilaudid in it not morphine like I thought. Dilaudid is much stronger than morphine. Today they gave me a list of all of the medications he’s been getting Mefoxin (antibiotics), Heparin, Toradol (Anti-inflammatory), Novolog (Cholesterol), Nubain (itching relief), Zofran (anti-nausea relief), Dilaudid (pain relief), and Protonix (stomach acid reducer), he’s also had magnesium and some other things that weren’t on the list. They did not have to put the catheter back in, so he was excited.:) He also took a sit down shower, shaved, and put on a clean hospital gown and even hospital pants (darn no more mooning people:0). Yeah!! Love, Ricki

Today they went ahead and took the catheter out but as of now it’s not going to well. Dr. Ott ordered food through the feeding tube in Chris’ nose. We started out at 20 cc but his stomach was hurting so they took it down to 5 cc until the on-call doctor could come and look at him. They decided to send him to be x-rayed and then they did an ultrasound. Are biggest fear is that his stomach won’t work. And right now it also seems that his bladder isn’t doing its job either. He did walk around about 10 times today, made me watch ESPN, and visited with all the people in the hall as we did are laps. (I’ve been trying to convince him to go the opposite direction when we’re out walking but he insists that we go the same way every time). :) The kids, aunts, grandma, and cousins all came and saw Chris today. Ryan said “hello” to Chris and then left the room and waited in the waiting area until everyone left.:( Hopefully, we can get that stomach and bladder working. I’d rather die than not be able to eat chocolate and drink Dr. Pepper. He,he love, Ricki P.S. I want all of you to know that I do know when to start a new paragraph its just that when I write this in Word and then move it to the blog it puts all my words into one big blob.:0)

Today is Friday the 13th. A good day for Chris and me. We were married on Friday, April the 13th:0) Yesterday was a bad day for him lots of pain medicine. This morning Dr. Ott ordered a chest x-ray. He also pulled out the ball (sorry I can’t remember the technical term) that provided pain medicine to only his pancreas (like a continuous epidural). Dr. Ott also said that he only had to have his blood sugars tested every 4 hours instead of every 2. His poor finger tips are bruised and sore. But his sugar level has been great about 105. They are still giving him heparin and he is still using his pain medicine pump frequently. He walked about 8 times today around the hospital floor. He’s so funny if we see someone else (who is hurt) walking he always asks them if they want to race. And he always provides encouragement to them (we wouldn’t expect anything else from are Chris). Later in the afternoon he was doing better. He let me turn on the TV.:) He started getting really hot (even though the room is set at 55 degrees. I wear my jacket and have 3 blankets over me). So the nurse ordered a fan for him. He was much happier after that. He is still only allowed to have about 15 ice chips per hour. Today we were out walking the halls and in one of the rooms we heard the noise of a pop can opening. Immediately poor Chris asked “why?” He wanted to get a drink from the drinking fountain but I told him the water tasted awful, he said he didn’t care so I told him it was broken (he believed me he, he not). A cleaning lady was outside one of the rooms and he said he’d drink her dirty pan water. Think he's thirsty?! Poor boy!!! They are going to try and take out the catheter again tomorrow (don’t tell him I told you – although I have been kind to him he’s had a lot more embarrassing moments that I haven’t shared with you). We also took the kids up to see Chris yesterday. I had one at a time come up (we are on the 10th floor). My mom and dad were very helpful. My mom and dad would help get my children food while I took one child upstairs. You could tell each one was upset after seeing Chris. Poor Ryan was the worst he couldn’t stop crying. Later he ended up sleeping in bed with me because he was so upset. I have to thank Ryan’s teachers. This week he had a big project due on Friday which I had no idea about until last night at 10pm (that’s why I didn’t write). We did as much as we could last night. Today his wonderful teachers allowed him to finish it at school. Thank you. I feel very blessed to know that all of my children have wonderful school teachers. I couldn’t get through this without you guys. I love you guys tons! I hope that I can be as great a school teacher someday. Love, Ricki

Today was just as bad as yesterday. They did give him a morphine pump so that he can control his pain medicine. He walked around three different times. They took out the catheter but would have to put it back in if he hadn’t done his business by 7:30pm. He wasn’t able to so the catheter went back in:( The kids have not seen Chris since Sunday. He has just felt too awful. My dad stayed with Chris last night and will again tonight. And my mother is taking care of the kids. Incase you might be wondering Chris’ mom and dad are in China where they are teaching English at a University (don’t ask me which one). I know they’d be here helping wrestle with the children or making sure that Chris was comfortable at the hospital and I know they are hurting just as much as we are. Some good has come out of all of this. . . I took my scrap booking stuff to the hospital today where I proceeded to try to catch up on 6 years of Jacob and start a scrapbook for Katie:) I'm not to crazy about scrap booking but Chris doesn't want any noise or light so I needed to find something to do. We have also met some wonderful people. There is this wonderful family that gives me hope that one day all of my children will get along. They are a great example to me. They have been so kind to Chris and me. They even helped me carry in my scrap book supplies (you’d think I was moving in). Thank you to all of you who are taking care of my children (church leaders, school teachers, friends, family etc) this is hard on them. They are each acting out in a different way. I’m afraid to come home at night. I’m either being loved to death or yelled at. I love them so much and I hate to see them hurting. Pray for a better day I know my kids want to see their dad:) Love, Ricki

Chris had a really rough day today. He was in a lot of pain. They gave him pain medicine every hour. He walked around the surgical floor three times during the day but it was really hard on him. Dr. Ott drew this picture for me so that I could explain better to all of you what he did to Chris:) The drawing on the (forget the side picture Meg and I messed up, I'm just learning:) far left is a drawing of Chris' insides now. Liver (the large one on top), pancreas (dash lines), stomach (looks like flower vase), and the small intestine. The one on the right is what Chris' insides looked like when they opened him up. The circle is where the very large ulcer was and the up and down lines are where the doctor cut each organ. Hope it helps. The nutritionist came and talked with us. She said that it was a good sign that Chris did not have a permanent feeding bag sticking out his side. That we will be feeding him through the tube in his nose for awhile and then get him on food before he leaves the hospital. They also continued to give him insulin. Dr. Ott came in twice during the day to check on Chris. He said that the pathology report was back. Out of 16 lymph nodes one was cancerous. That there was cancer in the ampulary valve and that they were going to send his pathology report to a different research facility out of state to get a better reading because his test showed that he had THREE different cancers!!!! (stomach, small intestine and pancreatic). Which is unheard of. He said that that would take a week. Oh…and on the way to the hospital I got rear ended:) Not bad, no one hurt. I just have white paint on my bumper. It’s all good! LOL. Love, Ricki

Yesterday was a very long day for all of us. We left the house at 5am got to the hospital at 5:30, checked in at the kiosk and then waited to go back to the surgery prep room. I said goodbye to Chris at 7am and went to the waiting room to wait and wait and wait. One of the nurses from the surgical room would call me every hour and a half to give me an update. During the day I was lucky enough to have wonderful family and friends come to visit me to help me pass the time away. (You can only do so much reading and if you asked me what I read I’d have to tell you that I have no idea.) The surgery ended up being nine hours long. Dr. Ott came out and spoke to me and told me what he had done. I saw Chris again around 6 pm. He was smiling and joking. He has a tube in his right nostril that is a feeding tube. The left nostril has a tube for stomach juices to come out and both nostrils have air going into them. He looks great!!!!!! They gave him heparin (a blood thinner) and insulin. Then later they had him doing lung exercises. And he watched the ESPN channel. My dad stayed the night with Chris so that I could check on the kids and give my mom a break. She got to be in charge of homework etc. (lucky girl):). Thanks to Megan who did all the entries yesterday, she did a great job relaying what I said over the phone. Today they are supposed to have Chris up and walking. The doctor said that research shows that it’s best to get up and moving. Chris is also one of the only patients that has gone right to the floor instead of going to ICU (it is unheard of). He will be in the hospital for 6 days or more, just not sure. We had many miracles yesterday. We love you all and couldn’t get through this without all your prayers and support. Love ya, Ricki

Surgery is Over

Chris finished his surgery around 4 PM. He is doing fine. Instead of Chris going to the ICU first, he just went straight to recovery. He did have to have some insulin, but that makes sense because we were fooling with the pancreas. He did have a large ulcer too, we weren't quite sure where it was at, but it was removed during the surgery. He is doing fine and will be home in about a week. Thanks again for everything.

Surgery

Chris went into surgery at 8 o'clock this morning. The doctor checks in too tell us that things are going well. As of the time of this blog the tumor from the pancreas has been removed successfully. The surgery should last at least another hour. Thanks for everyones concern and prayers.

Tomorrow is the “big day” we are suppose to be at the hospital at 5:30am and thanks to the time change it’ll feel even earlier:)
Thank you to everyone who volunteered their blood. I am O+ so were good. We will try to update the site as quickly as we can. The procedure is 6-8 hours. I don’t know what time I will be home but I will ask Megan to update the site as soon as we know anything. It’s going to be a very long day. Again, thank you for all your support. We couldn’t get through this without you. Love, Ricki